MY NEW BLOG

well, i couldn't resist.........i went over to blogger.com and started a new blog.  this is the new location:

http://apageunturned.blogspot.com/

stop by when you can.

OLD ENTRIES/OLD FRIENDS/MEMORIES

i was trying to catch up on journal reading before the last curtain call and came across a journal that sorta stirred up something in me.  i won't mention the journal name, mostly because this person is a dear j-land friend and is very much entitled to her opinion........as am i.  the gist of the entry was that we have all survived much more devastation and turmoils than losing our journals and should not worry about it.  i agree mostly with that statement...........but...........yes, there is a but.............

i went back to my first entry which was on june 27, 2004 and started copying and pasting onto word documents in spans of one month at a time so as not to lose anything in my journal.  it wasn't very long before i started crying and got a very heavy heart.  there are comments in that very first month from people who are no longer in this world........they have passed on to a greater reward.  without j-land and my journal, i would have never met some of these people.  my life would have been much different without their comments, love, prayers, support, compassion, and advice.  i will never have another comment from those people.  if i lose my journal's contents, i will lose their words.  i will have the memories of knowing these people, but after time fades those memories, there will be little left. 

also, i started journaling at a time in my life when i needed a friend and there wasn't one in my real life to help me cope with day to day trials and tribulations.  i lost 2 homes to foreclosure and was evicted from a rental house due to circumstances beyond my control.  i became estranged with my then 17 year old daughter, and proceeded to watch her from afar live a life i would never wish for her.  i found love, then lost it, several times.  my journal captured my emotions, my soul.  i wrote poetry i have since forgotten about, all to cope with life as it was back then for me.  now that i am on higher ground emotionally and financially, i have more or less blocked out much of that past.  reading my past journal entries has brought those memories back, and even though they are not the best of memories, the events strengthened me and made me a better person.  and by reading my past entries, i find peace in my life now. 

so, even though this journaler is correct in saying more or less to not sweat the small stuff........to me, my journal isn't small stuff.  it is a record of my life.......one i have tried to forget because of the bad memories, but one that has brought me full circle to where i am today.

i will move on and continue journaling.  and someday will look back at my current entries and either smile or cry........but it will be a slice of my life..........MY LIFE..........a life that only i have lived.

and yes, i have every right to be angry with the powers that be at aol.  they didn't provide "the service" for free, or out of the goodness of their hearts.  they did it at a cost to their customers, both financially and by having so many internal problems that we all became exasperated at one point or another.  yes, i will continue on with aol.  it is like an old pair of shoes that, when new and first worn, hurt the feet and make life miserable until they are broken in.  i have become familiar with aol.  i am at a loss at where i will go from here, but i will go................and i will succeed at making a new journal at a new site.  i just hate that i will lose so many friends who will not journey down the same road as i.

I HAVE WIFI

ain't it a hoot..........i finally have a day off work, my wifi connection is good.........and i have to spend the next 24 hours trying to save 4 years of journaling because aol makes a decision without consulting the very beings that keep them in business.  ya gotta luv 'em........NOT!!

i went to magic smoke to try to figure some things out and started following their directions on backing up my journal files..........and my head exploded.  i guess you have to be a computer geek to understand any of it.  there is talk of an email going out on the 7th explaining how to transition to a new blogsite.  by the time i figure out the instructions i could have typed the last 4 years' entries by hand into another blog.  this is just so frickin' ridiculous.  i'm too old to learn new tricks....... sheesh.

i have already received some notices from readers as to where they will be going and how to keep in touch with them.  please, to keep in touch with me, keep my email addy in your files.  it hasn't changed for 7 years, so unless aol decides to completely fold, i don't see it changing.

i know it is a little early, but as soon as each of you know where you might be taking your blog, please email me with the site.  i have begun an account at yahoo 360 and will probably go either blogger.com or blogspot.com. 

i am going to go now and try to catch up on the journals i am behind on before i start copying my own 5 journals for posterity.

be blessed, each and every one of you.

(possibly the last kittycaption on this journal)

aoljpictureUpload, aoljpictureUpload_1

MY PLANE HAS BEEN SHOT DOWN

as most of you know, aohell is closing j-land.  4 years of my life, as well as years and years of my internet friends' lives going down the toilet.  it was bad enough that aohell ate about half of my entries the first time around.......now they want to eat the rest.  and they claim the transition to another blog site will be easy........sorry, EASY and AOL in the same sentence denotes an oxymoron.  (emphasis on the moron)

i had already typed up a lengthy entry a couple of days ago while i had wifi service and as soon as i pushed the button to save........my wifi vanished.  but since learning the near death of j-land, i have decided not to enter that entry.  i also added a tribute to the wonderful actor and charitable contributor, paul newman, but am choosing not to put that in as well.  i will be spending most of my online time trying to save the 4 private journals i have while i await instructions on the "EASY" transition of my public journal.  i guess that means i will have to purchase additional flashdrives to hold all the stuff.  thanks aohell!!

work is same ole same ole.  everyone at everyone elses throats.  i have to go in early tomorrow (wednesday) because we are short handed.  it will be a full extra hour of pay, but here i sit at 1:50 am when i have to get up at 7:30 am.  oh well, i am off on thursday.  i will sleep in then.

gas shortages are not as horrifying here as they are in atlanta, but gas is still scarce.  if you pass a station on the way to work that HAS gas, there is no guarantee they will have any when you head home.  in fact, they usually DON'T have any in the afternoons.  you use up 2 gallons and fumes looking for somewhere to purchase 2 gallons.  no win situation.

not sure how i feel about the aig bail out either.  if we don't do it, where will the economy be in 5 years?  if we do bail them out, the taxpayer is paying for it, more than once.  but will it better our future?  i am too old to think about all this crap.  i want to retire on a lake or beach and be a happy old woman. 

i guess i better head for the bed.  7:30 am will come really early!!

oh, and to all my j-land friends, please, keep in touch some way or another.  i will more than likely transition to wherever aol goes.  but i am also going to yahoo 360.  i am going to weigh all my options and go with the best, but still want to keep in touch with all my dear friends out there.  so keep my email addy and stay in touch wherever you go to blog.

LOVE YA'LL!!

I found this quote in an email and thought it was so amazingly true, I wanted to share it with my friends in J-Land.

WE ARE NOT HUMAN BEINGS GOING THROUGH A TEMPORARY SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE.  WE ARE SPIRITUAL BEINGS GOING THROUGH A TEMPORARY HUMAN EXPERIENCE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I also received this in another email.  Please open and enjoy.  Not only are the quotes inspiring, the photos are amazing.

Finding Joy Movie

JUST STAY

Just Stay

A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside. 'Your son is here,' she said to the old man in the bed.  She had to repeat the words several times before the patient's eyes opened.  Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent.  He reached out his hand. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man's limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement. The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed.  All through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old man's hand and offering him words of love and strength. Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest awhile.

He refused.  Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital - the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients.  Now and then she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying old man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night. Along towards dawn, the old man died. The Marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse.  While she did what she had to do, he waited.  Finally, she returned.  She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her. 'Who was that man?' he asked.

The nurse was startled, 'He was your father,' she answered.

'No, he wasn't,' the Marine replied. 'I never saw him before in my life' 'Then why didn't you say something when I took you to him? 

 

''I knew right away there had been a mistake.  But I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn't here.  When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, knowing how much he needed me, I stayed.’

 

The next time someone needs you .. Just be there. Stay.

AN ENTRY WRITTEN 24 HOURS AGO

Finally, cooler weather.  It is about 64 degrees here in my town at 12:11 am, Thursday.  I just changed my air conditioner from cool to fan only, for the first time in 3-1/2 months.  The days are going to be in the low to mid 70’s, so that will be nice, too.  But I don’t look forward to cold weather.  I hate having to put on warm clothes and a jacket every time I need to go outside the house.  But that is one of the quirks of living in Georgia.

 

Since I was off work on Monday, I went to pay my rent/utility bill.  The landlord wasn’t in, nor was his secretary, so I left it with one of the front office receptionists, along with a note telling the landlord I didn’t want further inspections, as I felt they were invasive of my privacy, and to satisfy his need to know if I had “cleaned the piles of materials” from the bedroom, I had taken numerous pictures and printed them out on plain paper for his perusal.  I feel that should suffice.  I have half expected him to come by the house and leave me a nasty note.  He has become such a bully.  I have known him for many years, even having gone to church with him years ago.  He used to be such a nice man, full of good spiritedness and integrity.  He has become a totally different person.  I feel it is his many years of service as mayor of our little town.  Either that or he is becoming senile.  Or maybe both.  Sigh…

 

After he had left me the note that there were numerous cats in the neighborhood, I stopped seeing any of the wild kitties around the house.  I figured he had called the pound to pick them up.  I stopped putting food out since it wasn’t being eaten and ants and bugs were getting into it.  Then, Monday, as I went out to run errands, Gray was sitting in the driveway looking at me getting into the car.  She looked rather good, so I am assuming she is either preggers again, or has been eating somewhere else.  I fed her later in the day when I got home.  It appears both of her previous kittens are deceased.  I really hate it, too.  I am sure I am the reason for the demise of the beige one, but I don’t know what happened to the black one.  They were both rather fuzzy like their daddy (Blacky).

 

Since I cleaned the large pile of craft items out of the bedroom floor, my kitty has been having a ball playing with her toys.  She has a toy tub that has no lid, and even though I have taken out 3 of her favorites to play with, she sits over the tub, staring down into it like she is expecting another favorite to pop out for her.  She runs across the floor chasing her Rat, which is her favorite of all.  She can snag her claws in it and toss it high up in the air, and then when it falls on her, she holds it with her front paws and kicks the daylights out of it with her hind paws.  Then the chase and throw begins all over.  So I guess one good thing came out of my “clean-up” attempt.

 

I worked on Tuesday, and even though I had hoped for a good day, argument and confrontation free, I had a small tiff with another co-worker.  Now I have nothing against people from the north as long as they don’t badmouth those of us from the south.  She is a true yank from Rhode Island who hates living here in Georgia.  Her children live here, so that is why she doesn’t move back.  That and the fact that her husband isn’t in the best of health for moving.

 

Having mostly clerical/managerial jobs in the past, I lean toward wanting to help the assistant director when she lets me and I have the time.  I get nothing from it other than satisfaction that I have decreased her stress levels just a little.  I have been helping her make appointments for people in need of acquiring free clothing at our store.  The auditor is coming on Thursday, Friday and Monday, so the assistant director has been busy trying to get ready for the audit.  When someone calls for clothing assistance, I check her calendar and then I inform her of what spaces are available and when she gives me the approval, I make the appointment and make sure that the client has knowledge of the date and time, as well as directions to the store.

 

Someone either called or came into the store Tuesday needing clothing assistance.  The aforementioned Northern co-worker came to ask the assistant director about making an appointment for the woman.  The assistant director immediately looked at me for help, since I had been making her appointments for her.  I spoke up as to my knowledge of the last appointment I had actually made for her, and the other co-worker shushed me.  When I kept on telling her what the last appointment I had made was, she shushed me again, lost her patience and said “Excuse me, I am NOT talking to you!”  I told her I knew as much about the appointments as the assistant director since she had been letting me make them for her.  The co-worker continued to argue with me that it wasn’t any of my business and I should stay out of it.  I went inside and she continued fussing at me.  I told her she didn’t know what she was talking about, since I had been making the appointments for the assistant director to help her out in a stressful time.  Even though she finally realized I HAD been helping, she never apologized to me, but went to the assistant director and apologized to her.  I thought it was rather comical myself. 

 

Since the auditors are coming, we all have to watch our hours at work.  Usually I get anywhere from 30-36 hours a week, even though I was only promised 29 a week.  Now I only get 29.  Hopefully things will change after they leave.  I NEED MO MONEY!!!

 

Not sure if I mentioned it in an earlier entry, but I found out lately that after I am employed for a full year, I will get a pension plan, as well as one week paid vacation per year.  Wow, a part time job with full time benefits……..how cool is that?!?!?!?  My old job would never have offered me that………they never even paid me my first raise.  I guess with the benefits I get where I am now it is worth a few confrontations/arguments.

 

Remember me telling you about selling a toy box to the wrong customer last Saturday?  Well I have one better for you……….the newest employee (the one whose elevator doesn’t reach the top floor) sold the same bookshelf 2 times within an hour.  It was an honest mistake since the bookshelves are outside and cannot be seen by the cashiers.  But someone had to have removed the SOLD sign that had been placed on the bookshelves.  The same employee said she might be the reason we were $5 over Tuesday evening.  I hate being off either way, but if I have more than the register tape says, then I am ok.

 

I was able to read and comment in a few journals when I did have wifi, so hopefully I will be able to do so again soon.

 

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend………I have to work Friday and Saturday……