holidays are not my favorite thing. i usually spend them alone......often even mother's day. i have started this entry several times, and each time i looked at it, and it sounded way too depressing. most of my entries are such, and even though today is one of those dreaded "holidays", i am not feeling in a festive mood. but i felt i had to write something. so i sat here for a few minutes, contemplating what to write, and suddenly, i knew what i was going to write. since starting my online journal, i have become quite addicted to not only writing and working on my own, but reading and responding to others as well. a few nights ago, i happened upon a journal which i couldn't read without getting a terrible headache. the words were misspelled, the sentences were disjointed, and it was a grammatical disaster. being an english major, i couldn't resist the opportunity to rush to the comment page, and post a comment, as well as a desire to help this person learn proper english and grammar, as well as spelling. i received a response and it has changed my life. improper grammar/english/spelling has always been a pet peeve of mine. i never realized that my constant need to correct someone was actually a charactor flaw, and that "I" was the one with the problem. the person to whom i directed my comments wrote me a grammatically disastrous email, but in that email i saw a kind, loving, compassionate human being who had lived a painful and abusive life. a person who took my comment not as an attack on their inability to write properly, but as an offer to help them better themself. this person reached out a hand of friendship to me, and hopefully we will develop a friendship bond that will last forever. her writings still give me a horrible headache, but heck, aspirin is cheap. so this entry is in homage to that new friend, a person, who in one email, taught me what kind of person i had become. thank you my friend, for helping me, when i thought it was i who could help you. my suggestion to all of you is to never leave a stone unturned, never offer advice without offering friendship first, and learn to be compassionate and loving to all, even though they don't fit into our little "box" of expectancies. this new friend has not only enlightened me, but enriched my life in the brief 2 days i have known her. so, go out and find a new friend, and the more different they are from yourself, the richer your relationship will be. enjoy your fourth.
Sunday, July 4, 2004
Friday, July 2, 2004
PATHWAYS
i wasn't going to add another entry tonight. it is way past my bedtime, but my friend, the illustratedfrog, sent me a link to her boyfriend's pictures, and i just had to go nosing around in his gallery tonight. once i open his gallery, i am lost for hours. he missed his calling the first part of his life..... should have been a photographer. so, david, thanks for being so talented, and hope you don't mind me using this one pic here. it sorta describes life in general, the complexities of which when come together.......... are absolutely beautiful.
THE JOY OF A FROG
THE DRYER, PART ONE
maybe i should have entered "silly" as my mood, for i am actually being silly by using the wingdings above. but alas, this is about the frogs, not me. i have a "landing" as opposed to a porch on the front of my house. this "landing" is about 3 foot by 3 foot, and has 3 steps up to it. i have a toad abode that i bought years ago, and i put it on the "landing" for looks. but shortly after i put out the toad abode, there appeared two toads. i assumed they were living in the abode, but obviously not. i have an area rug slung over my "landing" railing, and it comes about an inch above the concrete. when i walked up on my "landing" this evening, the two little toads hopped out from under the lip of the rug, and scared me to death, lol. i usually have to shoo them out of my way when i come in at night, but this time, they came out to greet me it seemed. the other night i was sitting in my living room, on the sofa, which is up against the front wall, under a couple of windows. i was working on my handmade jewelry when suddenly i hear this really strange throaty noise right behind me. scared the bejeebers out of me. my cat from hades was sitting next to me on the sofa, and she stood up, all fur standing on end. i just knew we had been possessed by the devil himself, lol. i pulled up the blinds, and behind a little keykeeper i have on the window ledge outside was a tree frog. omg, i love tree frogs! i have had tree frogs in every house i have lived in, and in one residence, i had three that would let me pet them, and hold them. i was being serenaded by a baby tree frog. how cute. ok ok, i know, not everyone loves toads or tree frogs, but hey, it was exciting for me, since i live such a mundane life. so, that is my story of the frog and toads. you have to give me credit for at least having an entry with some glee and happiness.
Thursday, July 1, 2004
SOLITUDE
MOMENTS IN LIFE
MOMENTS IN LIFE
There are moments in life when you miss someone
so much that you just want to pick them from
your dreams and hug them for real!
When the door of happiness closes, another opens;
but often times we look so long at the
closed door that we don't see the one,
which has been opened for us.
Don't go for looks; they can deceive.
Don't go for wealth; even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile,
because it takes only a smile to
make a dark day seem bright.
Find the one that makes your heart smile.
Dream what you want to dream;
go where you want to go;
be what you want to be,
because you have only one life
and one chance to do all the things
you want to do.
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
enough trials to make you strong,
enough sorrow to keep you human and
enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don't necessarily
have the best of everything;
they just make the most of
everything that comes along their way.
The brightest future will always
be based on a forgotten past;
you can't go forward in life until
you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
When you were born, you were crying
and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end,
you're the one who is smiling and everyone
around you is crying.
author unknown
THE FUNERAL
i attended a funeral on thursday afternoon. a dear lady 83 years young was laid to rest. i haven't been to a funeral in years, and wasn't sure i was going to this one. but then i remembered the sweetness of this woman, the way she quietly eased herself into your heart. i remembered the last time i saw her, a couple months ago, on her birthday. the sunday school class of which she and i were a part threw her a birthday party at the church. she was on oxygen and in a wheel chair, after suffering a stroke, but was still smiling the best she could, and tried to communicate her love for all of us. God has her in his arms now, and she is finally without pain and happy. i didn't shed any tears at her funeral, for i knew it wasn't a farewell, it was a homecoming.....she was being joined with the ones she had loved in life that had passed on before her. and she was with our Savior. a joyous occasion for sure.
MY MOMENTS OF MADNESS
my heart is heavy tonight. i look into my mirror, and i see sadness, where once was happiness. i hurt a friend tonight, and know though he says he is not hurt, i know he must feel pain. it was brief, but nonetheless it hurt. how can i be so insensitive? this is not me, not the way i am, or want to be. what has life done to me, to make me this way? all i can hope for is to have him forgive me. his friendship is precious to me.
