DOCTOR

i went to the doctor on thursday.  i have the big yucky bruise on my inner forearm to prove it (no i am not a druggy).  they took blood, examined me and we have all come to the conclusion that, with most of the test results in, i DO NOT have bone cancer.  i do have neuropathy and some malformations of my left foot were beginning, but it can be corrected.  at my age the first sign of something wrong you start thinking cancer.  i have always been a pessimist, and this time it paid off. 

i still have lots of tests to take and lots of results to get back.  i did get a nice new blood sugar level machine........test strips and everything..........no cost.  and a prescription for a diuretic.  i may have to strap a toilet onto my backside for that one, lol.

i would like to thank adam stanfield, ms. edna, dr. humphries, dr. harsh, mrs. janet and all the others at the HANDS OF HOPE CLINIC for always being there for me and helping me get and stay healthy without charging me a dime.  i would also like to thank nurse carol for the lovely bruise on my inner arm...........just kidding carol.  you got the blood in the vial, and that is all that counts.

i would like to tell the people at the mcdonough moye's pharmacy they all owe me an apology.  at least woody gave me one.  don't tell me that the label on my medicine bottle couldn't possibly say #30 if the computer says #90.  and who is going to pay for the gas i had to use to go back home and get my medicine bottles to prove i wasn't lying???  and who is the person who counted out the "90" zoloft and only gave me "30"??  what did you do with the other "60"???  i think mr. moye needs to fire some of the family that works there and hire some real employees.  (keep woody though, he is good)

ok, i have rejoiced and vented, so i better sign off and get busy. 

for those who follow my poetry, i have written 23 new poems in my offline home pc journal.  i hope that soon i will be  able to transfer them to a floppy and bring them here and put them out for you to read.  some are sorta cheesy, and some are rather dripping with love and a couple are just cute.  but you, the readers, are the ones that decide if they are good or not.  i hope to have enough to publish a single book of my poetry soon.  i have about 20 poems published, but no two are in the same book.  so keep your eyes open and maybe i will correct that little problem.

wishing all a wonderful week...................

ALL TIME LOW

I have reached an all time low..............I am becoming a pinball wizardress..........

Each night before going to bed, I sit before my home computer (which, by the way, isn't hooked up to the Internet) and play at least four games of Solitaire, and at least that many or more of Pinball.  I get so angry when there is nothing I can do about losing my ball............I have completely gone over to the other side.........meaning, I have fallen into the world of pinball wizardry.  I even tilt..........though I get notices telling me to be careful........

This is the very reason I never progressed from the original Atari 2600 to the more up to date X-box, etc.  I wore out four Frogger cartridges and 4 sets of joysticks on my Atari 2600.  When the Atari 5200 came out, I wanted one.  I owned a consignment shop at the time and someone brought one in to sell, and I took it home for a week and sat up till my eyes were totally bloodshot, playing Frogger.........

I have an addictive behavior.  That is why I cannot indulge in such things as video games.  It would never do for me to move to Las Vegas (sorry Michael) for I would spend all my time in the casinos.  My favorite saying is:  just one more time.........hahahahahahahahaha..........isn't that like trying to eat one Lay's potato chip or one Cheetoh????

So, J-land, you now know one of my severe handicaps.........compulsive addiction to any one thing...........it could be video games, crocheting, cross-stitching, jewelry making, card making...........doesn't matter, I become completely addicted.  Someone help me...............................................

TONI TAGS

i would like to thank toni for the great tags..............you are super toni!!!

 

 

 

 

 

VENTING, A NECESSITY OF LIFE

i would like to comment here on my entry about drama.  i guess i started up some new drama when i posted that entry.  people, when someone is unhappy with something i write, they often post it as a comment in that entry.  but others email me their comments.  this is what happened recently, and i guess i just snapped.  i enjoy journaling, and even though i haven't been online much via my journal, i have definitely kept up with my journaling daily with my offline journal on my home computer.  it has gotten me through many a day when all hope seemed gone.

i want to start anew here.  i want to say i am sorry to anyone i have hurt with my words here on the Internet, both past and present.  i am not a bad person, nor do i look for ways to get even with others..........vengeance is mine, saith the Lord.........and i am definitely not the Lord.

with recent health concerns coming to surface, i have been under a lot of stress.  i take things seriously that may not have even been meant that way.  and my way of thinking is off as well.  i have way too much time to think about things i guess. 

though i am taking measures to find out what my health problems are and correct them if possible, please bear with me for i am only human.  this time i am truly frightened.  and i may not be myself (or act like it anyway).

i have decided to begin writing in my journal again.  all are welcome to read, and even post comments, good or bad.  i just ask that if you have something truly mean or destructive to say, keep it to yourself.  meanness has no place in any open public forum.  i care about what people think about my writing, but it won't make me stop, for that is my one true love in life..........the written word.

i have written over 20 poems in my offline home journal, and as they are published, i will be sharing them with you, my readers.  i hope they bring you joy, tears, and all other emotions...........the human being is a mass of different emotions, and it is healthy to display all of them from time to time.  just do it in a good way, not a destructive one.

so, again, i am sorry to have hurt anyone at all in j-land, and hope that i can rebuild my readership and share my life with each and every one of you.

and...............that one special friend who is taking time off from our relationship.......i want you back too, as a friend.  i miss you already and it has only been a day. 

hopefully i will be able to get my home computer set up with phone hookup and i can begin writing from home, where you aren't censored quite as much.  not that i plan on putting nekid pics in here or anything................(LOL).

MAY EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU J-LANDERS HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY AND KEEP ME IN YOUR THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS AS I ENDEAVER LIFE AND I SHALL DO THE SAME FOR YOU...............

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY J-LAND

WAY TOOOO MUCH DRAMA

I WRITE IN JOURNALS BECAUSE IT IS THERAPEUTICAL.  AND IT HELPS ME TO SHARE WITH OTHERS.  THERE ARE SOME THINGS YOU DON'T SHARE, SO THAT IS WHY THERE ARE PRIVATE JOURNALS.

ONE THING I HAVE HAD QUITE A BIT OF ONLINE IS DRAMA.  IT IS RAMPANT.  AND I HAVE STEPPED BACK FROM ALL THE DRAMA, OR AT LEAST TRIED TO.  BUT SOMEHOW, IT KEEPS SEEPING BACK INTO MY LIFE. 

SHARING YOUR FEELINGS, DESIRES, WANTS, NEEDS, ETC. IS JOURNALING.  PLAYING GAMES AND MESSING WITH PEOPLE'S HEADS AND HEARTS IS DRAMA.

KEEP THE DRAMA IN YOUR OWN LITTLE WORLD PEOPLE.  THERE IS WAY TOO MUCH TO DEAL WITH DAY TO DAY WITHOUT HAVING TO CREATE DRAMA.

THIS ISN'T DIRECTED AT ANYONE IN PARTICULAR, SO WHOEVER THINKS IT IS, GET OFF YOUR HIGHHORSE.  IT IS JUST DIRECTED TO PEOPLE IN GENERAL WHO FEEL THEY CANNOT LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST WITHOUT THEIR BELOVED DRAMA.

TAKE IT FROM SOMEONE WHO KNOWS........LIFE CAN BE WAY TOO SHORT FOR SOME..........DON'T WASTE IT ON FLUFF...............

TO LET ALL KNOW

i recently ceased writing in my journal online due to my not being able to get to the library as often.  i am experiencing some medical problems that may or may not be serious.  i have not gotten all my tests taken and the results back.  i will not go into it here until i have more concrete information. 

but due to the fact that one of my true friends was beside herself with worry and frustration at not hearing from me, i felt that just in case anyone else out there was concerned, i would let them know that, even though i am not well, i am not dead.  i am not going to spread doom and depression here in this forum.  i have an offline journal i write in at home, on my computer.  there is where all my heartfelt musings go. 

all i ask is that those of you who still care to read this journal from time to time and are praying individuals, please do just that...........PRAY for me.  i need all the prayers i can get at this point in my life.  i am resigned to take whatever God hands me, but being human, i still cry.

i hope j-land has a happy anniversary, and may we all share MANY MANY more.

REGINA