UPDATES

just a few updates on what is happening...........

the wild bunch is still around..........and i have gotten closer to a couple of them.  one of the white ones let me pet him/her, as well as rocky.  in fact, last night i was able to actually pick rocky up.......but it was short lived.........when rocky discovered what i was actually doing, he/she began the mad cat dance and tried to claw me.  the other night i was feeding them, and tried to pet mama kitty.........now i have 2 small puncture wounds on my pinky finger...........yes, i doctored them immediately.

the newby found someone to adopt her kitty, rufus.  she was at her wits end about finding a home for him before the landlord kicked her out.  she was in the grocery store and talking to a lady in line, and the woman said she would be glad to have him.  so rufus has a home.............be good to him lady.........ok?

i had a note taped to my door when i got home yesterday, telling me the good news about rufus. 

i have been working at the salvation army thrift store lately, trying to get hired on permanently.  i would still have to keep my other job to supplement, but need to do something to bring in more money.  prices keep going up, but the pay doesn't.  they have lost four people at work, but instead of giving more hours, they are hiring more people.

my daughter obviously still isn't speaking to me.  i hope she comes around soon.  one never knows when their time on earth is over..............

well, off to read some journals before i go....................

 

RANDY RHOADS GRAVESITE

july 21st was ozziefest..........before the show, michael had to visit randy rhoads mosoleum.  so here are some pics.................(apparently the pics disappeared before anyone could see them, so i tried something else.........hope they stay this time)

(for those of you who have been unable to see the pics, i hope i have corrected the problem.  if not, email me and i will send them to you personally, lol)

 

 

 

POISONED??

thanks to two of my wonderful readers' comments, i am now concerned.............lol.

i ate every bite of the chicken/rice casserole, and so far, i haven't bit the dust.  but i did get up this am feeling really bad...........but i think it was either the onset of a cold, or a sinus infection brewing.  either way, i think i survived the casserole.

but i did go back out and count kitties to see if maybe the casserole was kittycasserole, lol.  all were there.........whew..................

speaking of the wild bunch.........i had a little bit of excitement the other night when i fed them.  rocky and one of the white ones (can't tell the difference between ditto and whitey anymore unless i look right into their eyes) were ravenous, so dug in immediately, while gray stood tentatively back and mama kitty hissed.  i reached down and started petting the white one and it flinched at first, but let me pet him/her.  then i tried rocky, who backed up at first, then let me pet him/her.  i did a full back massage on both, and they more or less didn't move.  of course, mama kitty wasn't about to let me even pet her, but she still ate the food, lol.

the newby's kitty, rufus, has to go.  the mayor came over to the house yesterday and met with the newby and told her that she had to get rid of him by friday of this week.  when i left for work, she came running out looking quite disturbed, telling me what he said, and asking me if she could bring up some fliers to put out at the salvation army where i have been working the last couple of weeks.  i told her i didn't have any say so over it, but gave her the names of people who did.  she looked frantic and upset.  i think she thought maybe the mayor would allow her to keep him.  he is such a sweet cat, and so pretty.  he is a masculine gray tabby, neutered and declawed.  he likes attention, but not crazy about being held.  i hope he finds a good home.

i appreciate the comments on my sanity entry.  i am excited about the novel, but haven't had the energy or desire to work on it the last night or two.  working two jobs is killing me, especially the days that i work both on the same day.  up at 6 am and to bed at midnight or a little after.  i am usually so tired, i have no creative juices to flow. 

i want to send out a special thanks to greg at Photo Trek  for offering to work with me on a cover shot or inside photos for my book.  of course, greg will be too old to see through the camera lens by the time i require his services, lol, but i do appreciate his offer. 

my life is still topsy turvy right now, so if you are a praying person, please do so on my behalf.  i firmly believe in the power of prayer, so keep 'em coming. 

SANITY??

first of all, a note to greg...............i think i saw your sanity yesterday, or maybe the day before.  it was heading south on I-75, toward florida.  i tried to flag it down, but it just laughed at me and kept going..................

thanks for the comments, guys and gals.  i have so much to say, but never enough time to say it, nor the ability to put most of what i am thinking down in print.  but i do have some good news, well, to me it is.  I HAVE STARTED MY NOVEL!!!  i have put it off and put it off, but for some reason, as i lay in bed a few weeks ago, trying to get my mind to shut down so that i could go to sleep, phrases kept seeping in, creeping in, and eventually stomping in.  so i got up, went to my trusty computer and started jotting down the ideas. 

after a preface and 3 chapters, it dawned on me that the data i had stored on my aol 6.0 and transferred to disc was in my storage unit in the dresser drawer.  sigh...........

but that didn't stop me from putting more into a folder to use later.  i was able to access my aol 7.0, 8.0 and 9.0 for some of the needed data.

having never written a complete novel before, i am more or less at a loss.  i guess the best thing to do is to just let it flow as it may, and then afterwards i can clean it up for submission to the publisher.  i am sure that this is an undertaking that will require several years to complete.  so i am not going to get everyone excited about it yet.  just letting you know that i have begun the process for real this time.

there is also the legal standpoint i will have to consider.  since i am writing non-fiction, i have to make sure i can use real names, places, etc.  i am getting a little excited myself, but have to realize that i have everyday life i must contend with first, then the novel comes second.

now, a footnote on the wild bunch.............i have been feeding the kitties food that i had in my fridge and pantry that i only eat as a last resort.  i don't like boxed mac and cheese, so i usually give it to my daughter, who has always loved it.  but since she isn't speaking to me, i mixed it up, cooked it and gave that to the kitties one night.

i also had about 10 large cans of castleberry's chunky original beef stew.  they have been getting one of those each week, as well.  i was watching the news last night, and noticed that the castleberry's canned food recall had expanded to their chunky original beef stew.  ok, now i am not sure if it is the cans that i have in my pantry that are contaminated, but i am sure glad i didn't eat it.  but.........will it hurt the kitties if it is contaminated?  now i am worried about them..........i am afraid that the newby will get her wish..........they will all die off and not reproduce.............sigh.

as for the newby..........i think she means well, but is just a little odd.  she admits that late at night, after a hard day cooking, working, or both, she gets ill easily.  on the weekends she goes and picks up her grandson, who is 6, and brings him over to spend the weekend.  i believe it was saturday night when i heard a knock on my door and it was the newby, and she said she had some chicken and rice casserole to give me that she cooked.  but i would have to bring down a container to put it in.  i wasn't dressed appropriately, so closed my door, and dressed, and when i opened it again, there stood the grandson as well as the newby, roaming around my landing area.  ok, i gritted my teeth and didn't say anything.  but then the grandson started asking to see my room.  he kept on insisting, so i figured she put him up to it, since she knew i really like him.  i showed them the rest of the apartment, even though i didn't want to.  she was already walking into my kitchen, so i figured what the heck.  i showed them everything but my bedroom.  then the grandson started in again, begging over and over to see my room.  then i told him that if he asked again, he would NEVER see it, lol.  he shut up, lol.  he did ask me what i was doing up there at night, for there were sounds that scared him.  after going into their apartment to get my chicken/rice casserole, i noticed that her bed was directly beneath my computer desk and chair.  i have one of those plexiglass carpet savers under my chair, and figured that that was what was making the strange noise he heard...........my chair rolling around on that.  he seemed satisfied with that answer.

now i am off to read some of my readers' journals......................

 

JUST A SHORT ENTRY

as usual of late, i am in a rush, so will give a short update.

the wild bunch is still with me.......and thriving.......much to the chagrin of my housemate, i am sure.  i was feeding them the other night and i left the back door open while i poured out the food and water, and when i looked around, all four of the babies were inside the mud room.  they looked as shocked as i did, lol.  they just stood there for a moment, then ran back out and started eating.  if i had had the inside door to the mud room closed, i might have been able to catch at least one of the kitties.  but i don't really want to catch them.  they are content to lounge around on my back porch railing and enjoy the day.  when it rains they retreat to the garage for safety and to keep dry.

the newby is still insisting on wanting to come into my apartment.  her latest request is to "see the view from up there".  oh pleeeeease.  i think the mayor has her spying on me.  ok ok, my imagination is getting overactive, lol.

she brought me up some watermelon she sliced a couple of nights ago.  i think it was a ploy to get invited in, but i had on my nightgown and told her i wasn't decent.  then later i dressed and went down and took her some packages of hot dogs i had i won't eat. 

she has brought her cat rufus over to this house, but claims she told the mayor about it.  not sure if she did or not, but i hope she keeps rufus there.  then i wouldn't have to worry about my kitty being "found out".

well it is pouring down rain and i have to go to work today.  so i better scoot.

thanks again to all of you out there that have left comments and those who read and don't leave comments.  i guess i really do need an outlet for keeping my sanity......oh, wait, i lost that some time ago.................

my daughter wasn't speaking to me, now she is begging me to call her.  i just don't understand these kids. 

 

A BIT OF ANGER

normally i would not have come here to the library, but i was trying to avoid going home and killing time before my appointment at 5 pm this afternoon.  so i decided that if i were here already and had this anger i needed to vent, why not do it here.  so, you new readers, plug up your ears and cover your eyes............or not.  either way, here goes:

i have a new housemate.  she hasn't completely moved in yet, but has been moving stuff in and cooking meals there for several days.  i don't know how old she is, but i would venture to say possibly 45-50.  the first day we were both at the house at the same time, she chased me all the way up the staircase with my lunch in hand, wanting to meet me.  i was getting faint from not eating all day and needed to sit down and eat, but she continued talking.  so........i sat it all down on the step and shook her hand, introduced myself, and listened to her for 10 minutes.........then my daughter called on my cell, and i told the newby that i would talk to her after i ate.

i went on into my part of the house and sat down to eat.  my den is off the bedroom, so when i have the 2 fans, air condtioner and tv going, you can't hear anything.  after i finished eating i went back downstairs to finish talking to the newby and she was cooking something to eat.  she said she had come up to see if i had a plate she could borrow and i didn't come to the door.  dang woman..........go away!! 

while i stood and talked to her, she asked if i had a spatula........to turn her sausage.  i walked all the way back upstairs and got one and brought it to her.  we walked out into the common area and sat at the big antique dining table while she ate.  she had taken a china plate belonging to the landlord out of the china cabinet and used it to eat on.  sheesh.

we have talked a couple of times since then when she has been on the property, but the night she brought her grandson over was really the night i got angry.  there are cats, as most of you know, that hang around the house.  i feed and water them because i don't like seeing things go hungry.  i made the terrible mistake of telling the newby what i was doing with the wild bunch.  she told me that the landlord was going to have animal control pick them all up.  i asked  her if she had told the landlord about them, and she hurriedly said no, he saw them.  as we were talking in the kitchen while she cooked a whole chicken for herself and the grandson, she started talking wildly, flailing her arms and trying to make a point about the cats.  i understood what she was saying, but i am NOT going to let the kitties starve.  or any animal for that matter.  if the ugly opossum comes back, i will feed it too.

well, the newby was saying that it was my fault that there was a cat problem.  she said that people should be responsible with their pets and have them spayed and neutered, which i agree with.  these are NOT my cats.  but when i tried to interject a sentence, she yelled at me "LET ME FINISH!!!"  ok.........finish.  and she said the same thing over again.  i agree, dammit.  but what i am saying is that if these WERE my kitties, they would have been taken care of and homes found.  these are wild kitties that need to be fed and watered to survive.  so then.........she says that my feeding them and watering them is giving them life instead of letting nature take its course and if they were to die, that would be the end of the chain.  if they continue to live, then they will grow up, mate and reproduce and the chain goes on................

ok, i understand what she is saying........but first, i can't catch the wild bunch.  second, they are not mine.  third, they are God's creatures, and even if my own life is screwed up most of the time, why should theirs be?  i have extra canned goods that i have offered to people and they turned it down.  so why not feed it to the kitties?  i don't go out and buy food to give them.  i am sharing what i have.  and this newby IS A CAT OWNER!!!  she should have a little more compassion. 

now, go ahead and disagree with me............yell at me..........i am wrong, right??  i usually am. 

so far, the wild bunch is still there.  every night there is one or two missing, but they come back.  oh, and i started parking my car in the garage again and told the newby she could use the other side of the open garage for hers.  otherwise there are bird droppings all over the car hood and top.  she said that the garage smelled like a bad litter box.  yep, the kitties live in there when it rains, and they potty in there.  they even spray my car, but it washes off.  she said if they spray on her car she is going to have cat stew.  sigh..................

i feel a little better now.  i am afraid if i stay in the house that the newby is going to make my life a living hell.  she insists all the time to come up and see my place.  actually, when she comes up the staircase, she is invading my space.  from the bottom of the steps up is my apartment.  now i don't mind emergencies, but i don't want someone up there in my open area where i have to cross through to get to my kitchen.  she also hounded me about giving her my cell number and giving me hers.  now that makes sense due to us possibly needing to reach each other in emergencies, but i don't want her calling me all the time.  when i was down there the last time, she was trying to do something to the tv for her grandson and couldn't see due to the darkness in the room.  i told her she needed to turn on the ceiling light.  she said she didn't know how.  i was LOL inside, but walked over to the pull chain and pulled it once, and voila, the room was flooded with light.  she then walked over to the wall switch and said "then what is this for?"  i have no idea....you have to realize that this is a 110 year old house and they didn't have switches per se.  most everything was pull chains or you turn a switch on the hanging lamps.  she had no clue.  sigh...............why me???!!!!

i am so hungry, i think i am going to have to chance going to the house and getting something before i go to my 5 pm appointment.  i have $4 left out of my check, so can't eat out.  gas has gone up when on the news they say it is going down.  did we do something to anger the gas gods here in georgia???

ok, i am done.  i am sorry you new readers had to go through that.  and my old readers, well, they know i am psycho...........

IN AWE

i came here today to close out my account and my journals and found something quite amazing.........an outpouring of compassion and friendship.  where the heck have you folks been?????  just kidding.  i am still in limbo as to what i am going to do here online, but thanks to the many people who spoke up and commented in my journal, i am not closing out quite yet.  i will keep things open and if things improve in my little offline world, i will return.

thank you guido for sending people my way.  being a writer, it hurts to not be able to do the thing you love the most.  i still write at home on my computer, but have no access to the internet.  if i decide to stay online, i will share what i write at home from time to time.  i will try hard not to depress anyone.  i want my writing to encourage and help, and i feel that i have gotten away from that due to my personal demons.

so, for now, i offer a heartfelt thank you to each and every person who commented in my journal, both in the past and currently.  you will never know just how much it meant to me to open up my email and see dozens of alerts to entries in my journal.

i must go now and take care of impending business...........but thank you again.  hopefully things will change for the better and i will be back, refreshed, relaxed and once again bursting with joy to share.

BE BLESSED J-LANDERS.

 

 

A SAD FAREWELL

for the few readers i have that have stuck with me...........thank you, and may you have a wonderful life.  mine has reached an all time low and i must bid farewell.............

it is doubtful i will return, so please have a delightful time here in j-land and remember to always hug the ones you love, and send flowers BEFORE they die so they can enjoy them.  never go to bed angry with someone, and don't forget to thank God and praise Him daily for everything you have. 

i will miss you all................