Friday, September 29, 2006

GEORGIA WINTER

GEORGIA WINTER

August flew like a bird on the wing
September is almost here

Soon, the birds will no longer sing
And the air will be cold and clear

Winter is good for many reasons
It helps rid our environment of bugs

It is one of the most joyous of all the seasons
Though we have to bundle up like slugs

I used to enjoy winter more than most
For it brought lots of beautiful white snow

But now I enjoy summer and going to the coast
And watching the ocean waves ebb and flow

I guess as you age your favorites change
And nothing is ever the same

The things we used to love seem ever so strange
And we forget the rules of life’s game

For all my life I have lived in this state
And never wished to be anywhere but here

But now in my mind there is an endless debate
Do I go where it’s warm or stay where my daughter is near

I am too young to draw my social security check
And too old to want to continue to work

At my job they continuously give me heck
And I’d like to tell my boss he’s a jerk

But until I reach the proper age
I must keep quiet and do my job

And let the Georgia winters cool my rage
And let work my sanity rob

(by Regina)

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

A SHORT STORY

i wanted to relate a story about two people i know............

i have met a lot of people since becoming a sales associate at my store.  some have become my "fan club" and some i have become THEIR fan.  there are two older women, whom i will call "mutt and jeff" because they look like total opposites, who used to be close friends and never came in without the other one.

one of the women looks and acts just exactly like the hallmark card character, maxine.  she never really comes in dressed up, and sometimes even looks like a bag lady (sorry mutt!).  the other lady is always dressed up, to the nines, and is absolutely beautiful for a woman her age.  she reminds me of a classy gypsy, with all her bangles and chains and flowing butterfly skirts (gypsy jeff, lol).

i have known these two women for three years now.  like i said, one was never seen without the other.  then........about 2 months ago, i started seeing one without the other.  first it was mutt.  i didn't ask her anything about jeff, just talked with her as i checked her out at the register.  on another occasion i assisted her in finding something, and still said nothing about her friend. 

then, jeff came in one evening, and i couldn't help myself.  i asked her where was mutt and she got a teary look in her eyes and said they weren't speaking.  i told her i didn't want to know any details, just that whatever happened couldn't be bad enough to dissolve a long time friendship over.  she said she didn't know what to do, for she didn't know what the problem was.  so..........i repeated that it wasn't my business, but let bygones be bygones and get back together and be friends again.  she said she would try.

then one evening mutt came in again, and she even followed me back to the break room and sat down with me and started talking while i was on lunch (or supper, depending on how you look at it).  we were alone, so i gave her a little pep talk, and told her i didn't want to know what the original problem was, but that life was too short for people to do this to each other.  you can't choose family, but  you can friends, and obviously they had chosen each other years ago, so why lose that now.  she tried to tell me the situation and i told her i didn't want to know, for i know the story has two sides, and to me, neither are important.  both of you should quit acting like two-year-olds and apologize to each other, accept the other's apology, and rejoice in the fact you have such a good friend.  both of these ladies are up there in years, and life doesn't hand out promises, so their time could be short.  mutt has already experienced skin cancer.  i related to them the story of my best friend in high school who married and moved back to texas with her husband and died way too young.  i will never have her with me again, until i reach the pearly gates.

so, if you have a friend, or even a family member, who has wronged you, or you feel has wronged you, or if you have done something to them that has caused an estrangement, drop the pain, the anger, the hurt, get together, apologize to each other, accept the other's apology, and move forward in your relationship like adults, not children...........well actually children are more mature that we adults are.  they get mad at each other, bust each other in the nose, then go and buy each other ice cream cones.  maybe we could learn something from them..................

this story is for everyone out there, but i would like to send it especially to someone in my life..................she knows who she is....................so, joey, accept my apology and let  me back into your life.................i miss you.............

JUST DROPPIN' BY

I haven’t been around a lot lately…………I have actually been working.  I won’t complain about the many hours I have to stand on my feet, because I need those hours…………but I miss being here on my journal and in other’s journals.

 

Nothing spectacular has happened since my last entry.  I keep a daily journal on my home pc, but it isn’t connected to the internet, so I just have it saved in my word documents.  It helps me get through each day. 

 

I am having a huge fall crafts sale at my house this weekend, so I should be home preparing, but since I haven’t been online in some time, I was having withdrawals. 

 

I hope all are doing well and life is treating you fairly.  I am off work for the next five days, so I am sure I will be back some day this week.

 

I seem to have lost most of my readers, or it appears that way.  I hope to be able to get a really good job in the near future (I am  going to look for one while off) and will be able to put my home pc online again.  That way I can do my journal on a daily basis and give the readers something to read about.

 

I will also print some more of my offline poetry, hopefully today, if I get through with all my other “urgent” online errands.

 

So, if you have been waiting patiently for me, I will return………….

Thursday, September 21, 2006

ANGRY BUT MOSTLY HURT

I am sure that most of you are tired of hearing me complain about my job.  Well this time it is about my job, but moreso it is about people in general.

I have always been an office manager or data entry clerk throughout my life.  There was a short stint as a 911 operator, a few front desk clerk positions, and a couple of strange, but paying temporary jobs.  For the last three years I have worked in retail sales for a major craft store chain.  As I have stated before, this chain doesn't truly back their employees.  We are given no incentives to do better.  I personally feel this is due to the type of job, where for every person who quits there are 10 waiting in line for the position.  There is very little praise (if any) for a job well done, but a stern lecture if anything goes amiss. But this entry isn't about that.  It is about people who have certain agendas.

I am old and mature enough to know that not everyone is going to act and think as each of us do.  That would be too much like cloning.  And I am also fully aware that Satan has a firm grip on millions of people worldwide.  But it still never ceases to amaze me that there are some people out there whose agenda is to ruin someone's day, or possibly someone's life.  I am not talking murder, rape or robbery...........well, not exactly.  When a person is working in the retail industry, they come in contact with hundreds of thousands of people every year.  If one looked at the situation from a statistical standpoint, it might be observed that out of those hundreds of thousands of people, even one evil person a day isn't all that bad.

But try being on the receiving end of that one person's evil..........and afterwards you feel raped, robbed and murdered.  They can rape you by taking away your dignity.  They rob you of your happiness.  and they murder your spirit.

I am not tooting my horn here, but making a point.  I have several co-workers who tell me that on the days I am off, I have a multitude of people who come in and ask for me by name, asking if I am ok, and when will I be back at work, etc.  I jokingly call them my "fan club".  This is because I try very hard to be a personable type person.  Basically I love people.  And, of course, I love to talk.  I attempt to carry on a conversation with every customer that seems open to the idea.  You can usually tell when someone isn't in the mood for conversation, so you let it go and just offer them the niceties......."hello, how are you" and "thank you for coming, and have a great evening".

But there is always that one customer that seems to be out looking for someone to crush.  Possibly someone at another retail outlet has given them some grief, so they come in and they take it out on you.  Or maybe they are fighting with a spouse and take it out on you.  Or their children are getting on their last nerve and you become the recipient of their ire.

Or maybe they are just evil messengers of Satan.  I am inclined to believe that this one customer I have is the latter. 

Now I am probably going to ruffle a few J-land feathers here, but it is not intentional.  What I am about to state is directed only to this customer and the situation.  This particular woman is a 40-ish African-American.  The reason I make this statement is that I personally believe that she doesn't like Caucasians.  I couldn't care less what color or religion any of my customers are, as long as they pay for their items.  But for some reason this woman has an agenda against white people.  She always has her young son with her (I am assuming he is her son, for he is about 2-3) and a teenaged daughter who looks between 13-14.  The daughter never expresses herself in one way or another.  But after the events of yesterday, I was discussing the incident with another sales associate, and she asked me to describe the woman.  This associate is also white, and as myself, does not have any agenda against any other race or creed or religion.  But she said that it was the same woman that made her cry about a month ago.  When I was in the break room and was telling another white associate, as well as another black associate, about what happened, both knew who I was speaking of.  The white associate had had problems with her as well.  The black associate mentioned that she had waited on her several times as well, and she was always very nice, but if there was ever a problem with her purchase, she would always ask who the manager was on duty, and if it was a white manager (she obviously knew all the managers) she would say don't bother calling them up, I will come back and make this purchase later. 

This woman almost lost me my job yesterday.  She told a blatant lie against me to our general manager, and due to the fact that she had done so once before several months ago, my manager, when talking to me in private, stated he couldn't have any more complaints or he might have to terminate me.  I DID NOTHING BUT HELP THIS WOMAN!!!!!!!!!  I called for assistance to get something down for her, since she couldn't reach it.  I told her by pointing where something was, due to the fact that I can't leave my register..........and she told my manager I was mean, rude and hateful to her.  I didn't open my mouth to defend myself, for I knew it wouldn't do any good.  She was out on a mission to ruin someone's day, and I was the lucky lotto number holder. 

Now please, no hate mail about racial differences.  I have the utmost respect for people who deserve my respect.  If you are Asian, Latino, African-American, Caucasian, or any of the hundreds of other nationalities, and you respect me and deserve my respect, you will get it.  If not, you won't, but when on the job I will hold my tongue and still treat you like a human being. 

I have to leave the library now, so have to go.  But remember when you are upset with either someone or a situation, don't take it out of someone else.  It could ruin their day, or possibly even their life.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

NO WILL (a poem)(disclaimer attached)

I feel I must add a disclaimer of sorts to this poem.............first let me explain why I wrote it........

I was watching late night television and there was a commercial for some law firm, stating that if you had a teenager that committed suicide, contact them.  The picture that appeared on the screen was of a teenaged girl.  Though I am sure she was an actress or print model, the look on her face broke my heart. 

I have a daughter, and though she is almost 21, to think she could have been that despondant during her teen years and could have been a statistic, really struck home with me.  I raised a strong willed young woman, but nothing is ever certain in life.  I have had bouts with depression myself where the thought of taking my life sounded like such an easy way out.  I have lived a very long and not so happy life, but the thought of a young person not finding something in their short lives to make them want to live breaks my heart in two.

So, if you or someone close to you has lost a teen to suicide, please, feel free to "x" out my journal entry and not read it.  But I felt it was something I had to write, and with much thought and deliberation, I have decided to print it here.

 

NO WILL

One need only take a look at the haunting emptiness in her eyes
The smile you sometimes see on her face is merely a disguise

Though her years are barely over a decade in their length
She has given up, lost the fight, has exhausted all her strength

She sits within the darkened tomb she has chosen for herself
Recently she put her will to live so carefully on a shelf

She no longer needed that will to live, for life meant nothing now
No friends, divorced parents, no one to show her how

In the deepest darkness of night she cried and no one heard her plea
So she took her life by downing pills to live in hell for eternity

‘Twas too bad she could not see the many who came to grieve
Each one cared deeply for this girl, though she never would believe

Parents, take heed, and listen carefully to your children’s cries
Love them, honor them, cherish them before another dies

(by Regina)

MORE OF MY OFFLINE JOURNAL POETRY

Winter’s Edge


The spirit soars when skies are blue and a cool breeze blows in from the east
    

Soon their breath will be seen on crisp cold air and about heat they will worry the least

Transition from summer to fall is a wonderful time filled with holidays and celebrations

Those of us who live further north know all of the winter weather indications

Rain will abound and days become shorter as winter edges nearer each day

Schoolchildren wait in the cold morning darkness hoping their yellow carriage is on the way

Many wonder why fall brings a feeling of happiness, hope and good cheer

After all, it tolls the end of life to some of nature, bringing to close a very long year

Maybe it is the long awaited break from summer’s humidity and heat

That makes people so very eager the cool mornings of fall to greet

Soon it will be the end of one year and another will triumphantly appear

The skies will transform from cloudy and dark to cloudless, sunny and clear

So I must say one of the best places to be is there, on winter’s edge

Coming in from the heat, then warming to spring, a new start to pledge

(by Regina)

 

THE STORM

The storm hit quickly, with a violent force
Ernesto was set on his deadly course

Katrina had left behind so much despair
To stay in their homes they did not dare

Flood waters rose quickly and many fled
Fearing if they stayed, they would be dead

But soon the winds ceased to blow
The rain stopped and the sun began to glow

Those who had survived Katrina’s wrath
Knelt down  to thank God for sparing their path

(by Regina)

 

MAN OF THE SEA

From where she sat, she could see his silhouette against the sky
As she gazed out at the man, she heard the seagulls cry

The ocean waves beat upon the rocky cliffs below
As a distant ship crossed her view with its daily catch in tow

The salty air revived her soul though deep inside she knew
Only one thing could make her smile, the man within her view

The one time their paths had crossed they briefly spoke a word
But she was so enamored, his speech she had not heard

She blushed and rushed onward, afraid that he might see
How much she adored him, this man of anonymity

No one in the village had ever heard his name
And no one even knew from whence this man came

He lived his life in secrecy somewhere along the shore
But all she knew was meeting him had left her wanting more

As the sun began its evening dance with earth each and every night
This man could be seen standing tall in the day’s waning light

Had they not spoken once, she would have thought him a ghost
For the only time he was ever seen was along the sandy coast

Oft her dreams would take her to a time of pirates and gold
She wondered if he were the ghost of some pillager of old

He always stood tall and sure, and she knew he must be strong
His hair was dark as ebony and was straight and very long

Someday she hoped that she would solve the haunting mystery
Of who he was and from whence he came, this man of the sea

(by Regina)

A DAY LATE, BUT NEVER FORGOTTEN

I was unable to access a computer on 9/11, thus this didn't get posted until today.  It isn't a fitting tribute to those who suffered loss on this tragic day, but it is from my heart.  We cannot let terrorism win.  But we cannot lose our own self-respect and dignity in fighting terrorism...........we need to bond together as American citizens and let the world know that no matter what the color of your skin, your religion, or your sexual orientation, WE, THE AMERICAN PEOPLE, WILL NOT ACCEPT TERRORISM.

It appears that possibly the United States Government may be making 9/11 of each year Patriots' Day.  I have no problem with that, but I sincerely hope that we, the American people, do not get so withdrawn from the original tragedy and the ever present threat of terrorism, that we treat the day with the same nonchalant attitude as other holidays created to honor our heroes.  I never want someone to say to me "have a happy patriots' day".  There is nothing happy about being in fear of your life and existance as American citizens, and as human beings.  Nothing happy about the loss of a loved one or friend.  I didn't know anyone personally in the 9/11 tragedy, but each was a brother or sister human being, and many were brothers or sisters in Christ with me.  This is my small attempt to remember the day the towers fell, and the many who lost their lives.

9/11 Remembrance

Diversity, a common word
Love one another, seldom heard


Then tragedy strikes, bonds the races
Fear, grief, anger, tears on different colored faces

Time elapses, memories fade
Compassionate efforts no longer made

Forgotten and abandoned, left far behind
No longer love, compassion can we find

I am not asking to relive the hours
When many loved ones perished in the twin towers

My only wish is to remember the cause
And take a moment in silence to pause

If we forget those who died on that day
Then terrorism has won, we have lost our way

(by Regina)

                          

                  

Friday, September 8, 2006

MORE POETRY FROM HOME

The Kitten

As she stared outside her window in the dimness of early night
She noticed a wee kitten staring back at her in fright

Her window was not near enough to reach out and take hold
And the poor frightened kitten was not the least bit bold

It cowered near the trunk, looking down at the street
In its wee mind it was hoping its Maker not to meet

The lady kneeled and prayed that the kitten would come down
And live safely and happily there upon the ground

As she opened up her eyes and gazed out the window once more
She was amazed at what had happened while she knelt there on the floor

A small man had walked by just as she was kneeling
He looked up into the tree as he was overtaken by a feeling

There in the tree was the smallest bundle of fur
When he and the kitten locked eyes, he thought he heard her purr

Without thinking of himself and how he could fall
He climbed up to the kitten and started “kitty kitty” to call

As if God had pushed it along, the kitten came to the man
And without any incident it dropped right into his hand

The lady cried with tears of joy to see a miracle before her eyes
She wiped her cheek and up off her knees she did arise

She looked up to the ceiling and held her hands up high
And thanked the Lord for hearing her desperate cry

She never saw the kitten again, but remembered how she felt
When God answered her prayer while on her knees she knelt

(by Regina)

 

Unconditional Love

She smiles as I stroke her silky hair.  She is content.
Happiness is knowing she is loved, and that I am Heaven sent.

Life without me would be harsh, cruel and cold.
I cannot imagine being without HER as I am growing old.

She asks so little of me but to be held and told all is right.
I make sure she has her meals, both morning and at night.

I know she will not outlive me, and that saddens me so.
I have grown to love her so very much, I’ll hate to see her go.

But for now I will enjoy her company as she enjoys mine.
And not worry about how many lives are left out of her nine.

Yes, I am speaking of my fat and furry friend.
Who, if she could, would be with me all the way to the end.

(by Regina)

 

 

Our Choice

I hear the sound of a train , a truly lonesome sound
The steel wheels squeal on the tracks, nowhere bound

I sometimes wish I could hop that train, going nowhere
And flee my life of hopelessness and endless despair

But as I sit and dream of riding on that train
I realize I am the one who causes all my pain

One cannot escape the reality of this
We can make our life miserable or live in total bliss

It all hinges on the way we see the world each day
If we only see darkness and  doom, despair will come our way

But if we look into the sky and see the brightness of the sun
We have not lost this war called life, to fight we’ve just begun

Some battles will be lost as we walk this mortal land
But at the end of life, we can say we took a stand

Giving up and letting go are the easier paths to take
Either way we choose to go, the choice is ours to make

(by Regina)

POETRY FROM HOME

I promised all of you I would share some of the poetry I have written at home on my PC.  Like I mentioned before, some of it might seem cheesy, or dark and brooding, but it is what came to me at the time.  A writer has to pen what creeps into their soul.  So, try to enjoy these.

The Night

Quiet is the night

Darkness envelops

I hope sleep will come

No tears, no fears

Dreams, no nightmares

Day, a long way off

Eternity in darkness

Random thoughts

Nothing of substance

Just nonsense

I need to love

I need to be loved

Where is love??????????

(by Regina)

 

 

The Party

 Here she lies, deep beneath the flowers
She died as she lived, lonely through the hours

All she ever wanted was someone to call her own
Someone who would love her as she turned to stone

There will be a few who will remember her for awhile
And her memory might even bring them a smile

But soon no one will visit her in her bed of dirt
The only good thing about it is she no longer will hurt

The few that were near her as she left this cruel land
Will say she died of a broken heart, no ring upon her hand

It doesn’t really matter if she is remembered through the years
She’s done, she’s through, she’s already cried her tears

If she had known her hour of death was near
She would have requested no flowers, just a party with some beer

(by Regina)

 

 

NOTHING

No creative juices flow
Should I sit here or should I go

I await the inspiration to hit
So I just continue to sit

Nothing happens, but I stay
I know it will happen sometime today

But alas, no inspiration to write
So I guess I will just say “Goodnight”

(by Regina)

 

 

TRUTH

As the clock struck midnight in the musty old place
She pulled the cover up over her face

Somehow she knew if she looked into the night
She would see faces in the absence of light

These faces were real, but only to her
It was only in darkness they would occur

Oft the faces would evoke terror and fright
Then she would discover their truth in daylight


The faces were hers, distorted through the years
Remnants of her past throughout all the tears

She knew someday she would have to look deep inside
And find the happiness from which she did hide

(by Regina)

 

A House With Character

The old house had cracked walls 
Boards moved and creaked in the halls

Doors would open by themselves
Things would fall off the shelves

Some might say the house was haunted
But I remained quite undaunted

I knew the old place was just full of character
Ghosts and spirits were not a factor

But there were times when it seemed my cat
Would be chasing some ghostly rat

The cracks and creaks made it more of a home
Causing me to be content and not want to roam

I have to admit the two steep staircases
Put my poor legs through their daily paces

Though I know not how I will pay to stay
I can only live my life day by day

I hope and pray to God above
He will envelope me in His love

And let me keep this house of old
Through summer heat and winter cold            

(by Regina)

Tuesday, September 5, 2006

HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!

ok, i just typed a whole two paragraphs and there was something across the bottom of my screen that didn't apply to this journal, so i x'd it out and my writing disappeared.....

anyway, i just wanted those of you that follow me that i have gone and become a real addict now..........i have known it existed for years, but never attempted to play it.

SPIDER SOLITAIRE

i can't stop playing........as i am going out the door to work, i have to sit at my computer and try one more game.  i am currently angry at pinball.........every time i am awarded a replay ball or a shoot again chance, the ball accumulates about 1000 points and flies off into outer space........GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i was just wondering if anyone else out there was a spider solitaire junkie and what is a good high score.  i can't seem to break 1199.  my goal is 1200, lol.

so, any help is appreciated with my addiction..................