Wednesday, December 22, 2004

JUST LETTING YOU KNOW

JUST A NOTE TO LET ALL OF YOU OUT THERE THAT KNOW ME THAT I AM STILL ALIVE, SOMETIMES BARELY, BUT MIRACULOUSLY ALIVE.  I AM USING A COMPUTER AT THE LIBRARY SO WILL BE BRIEF, BUT WANTED TO TELL EVERYONE OUT THERE MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR.  ALOT HAS HAPPENED SINCE I HAVE LEFT THE COMPUTER......HOMELESSNESS, PNEUMONIA, AND MANY OTHER ATROCITIES, BUT GOD HAS PULLED ME THROUGH AND WILL CONTINUE TO BE MY EVER PRESENT GUARDIAN.  AARON, I MISS YOU AND HOPE YOU ARE DOING WELL.  COLLEEN, THANKS FOR YOUR CONCERN AND I HOPE YOU WERE ABLE TO FIND A ROOMMATE.  AND MICHAEL, THANK YOU FOR BEING MY DAILY INSPIRATION AND KEEPING ME AFLOAT WHEN I KEEP SINKING.  TO ALL OF YOU, NEVER GIVE UP HOPE WHEN THINGS LOOK REALLY BAD.  I HAVE ALMOST GIVEN UP MANY TIMES IN THE PAST MONTHS, BUT WITH MICHAEL'S CONSTANT NUDGING AND REMINDING ME THAT I CAN'T GIVE UP AND THAT I AM WORTH SOMETHING IN THIS WORLD, I KEPT TRUDGING FORWARD, AND AM GLAD I DID.  I AM NOT OUT OF THE WOODS YET, AND AM CURRENTLY PRAYING FOR A PLACE TO LIVE WHERE I WILL FEEL SAFE AND SECURE.  I COVET YOUR PRAYERS AS WELL.  ANYONE WISHING TO SEND ME A MESSAGE VIA EMAIL, PLEASE DON'T, FOR I CANNOT ACCESS THE NET VERY OFTEN AND THE EMAILS WILL BE GONE BY THE TIME I DO GET TO READ THEM.  ONCE AGAIN, I WANT TO WISH ALL OF YOU A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR.

LOVE TO ALL, JUST LITTLE OLE ME.........REGINA

Friday, October 8, 2004

OBITUARY

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alas, poor regina, we all knew her well.  it is assumed that she passed on to the nether world last week on friday the 13th..   

it was said that loud noises were heard coming from her abode.......then the lights went out, and silence ensued.  when police arrived, there were no traces of regina anywhere. 

it was first thought that regina had had enough of the roommate from hell, and had taken matters into her own hands.  but there were no traces of the roommate in the home either.  no blood was found at the scene, but they still have not ruled out murder.    

regina is survived by her daughter, and two cats, who some say have gotten very, very fat of late.  the cats have gone to live with the daughter.   

having found no body, there will only be a memorial service in honor of our friend regina. 

it has been said that invitations to the memorial were sent out today, one of which was sent to the poor deceased's ex landlord, who recently evicted her from his premises.  all hope he will attend the event.   

black roses have been requested for the memorial, as well as everyone is to wear their favorite halloween costume.   

if you wish to donate money in regina's memory,  do so to the cat's "lifestyle fund" at CATSFIELD FIRST BANK.  

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EVICTION

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this is to all those out there that know me, or have read my journal.........  

i will not be online much, if any, over the next few days.  i have fought hard to pay my bills, but seems i never can catch up.  i received my eviction notice today from the sheriff's dept.  i have till tuesday, at 1:00 pm to get out.  i called and begged the landlord but to no avail.   

my health is not the greatest, and i have been having headaches, a stomachache, and heart palpitations since i got the eviction notice.  i have rushed around the house like a crazy person, trying to pack stuff, throw out stuff, and overall just not think about the situation. 

but i am at a point now i have to sit down and rest a minute.  that is when the tears start. 

life sometimes seems so unfair.  i guess the failures in my life are somewhat my fault. 

either way, i need the prayers of those of you who pray.  and the good thoughts of those of you who don't pray.   

i will miss all of you if i am not able to get back on aol.  please know that i enjoyed calling most of you friend, and that i enjoyed your journals, and your comments in mine.  

i must get offline so that i can drive around town and try to find a house for rent somewhere.  i had to wait till i calmed down some before getting behind the wheel of the car.   

everyone out there have a great weekend.................

Tuesday, October 5, 2004

HISTORY OF HALLOWEEN

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 Halloween is an annual celebration, but just what is it actually a celebration of? And how did this peculiar custom originate? Is it, as some claim, a kind of demon worship? Or is it just a harmless vestige of some ancient pagan ritual?

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The word itself, "Halloween," actually has its origins in the Catholic Church. It comes from a contracted corruption of All Hallows Eve. November 1, "All Hollows Day" (or "All Saints Day"), is a Catholic day of observance in honor of saints. But, in the 5th century BC, in Celtic Ireland, summer officially ended on October 31. The holiday was called Samhain (sow-en), the Celtic New year.

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One story says that, on that day, the disembodied spirits of all those who had died throughout the preceding year would come back in search of living bodies to possess for the next year. It was believed to be their only hope for the afterlife. The Celts believed all laws of space and time weresuspended during this time, allowing the spirit world to intermingle with the living.

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Naturally, the still-living did not want to be possessed. So on the night of October 31, villagers would extinguish the fires in their homes, to make them cold and undesirable. They would then dress up in all manner of ghoulish costumes and noisily paraded around the neighborhood, being as destructive as possible in order to frighten away spirits looking for bodies to possess.

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Probably a better explanation of why the Celts extinguished their fires was not to discourage spirit possession, but so that all the Celtic tribes could relight their fires from a common source, the Druidic fire that was kept burning in the Middle of Ireland, at Usinach.

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Some accounts tell of how the Celts would burn someone at the stake who was thought to have already been possessed, as sort of a lesson to the spirits. Other accounts of Celtic history debunk these stories as myth.

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The Romans adopted the Celtic practices as their own. But in the first century AD, Samhain was assimilated into celebrations of some of the other Roman traditions that took place in October, such as their day to honor Pomona, the Roman goddess of fruit and trees. The symbol of Pomona is the apple, which might explain the origin of our modern tradition of bobbing for apples on Halloween.

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The thrust of the practices also changed over time to become more ritualized. As belief in spirit possession waned, the practice of dressing up like hobgoblins, ghosts, and witches took on a more ceremonial role.

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The custom of Halloween was brought to America in the 1840's by Irish immigrants fleeing their country's potato famine. At that time, the favorite pranks in New England included tipping over outhouses and unhinging fence gates.

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The custom of trick-or-treatingis thought to have originated not with the Irish Celts, but with a ninth-century European custom called souling. On November 2, All Souls Day, early Christians would walk from village to village begging for "soul cakes," made out of square pieces of bread with currants. The more soul cakes the beggars would receive, the more prayers they would promise to say on behalf of the dead relatives of the donors. At the time, it was believed that the dead remained in limbo for a time after death, and that prayer, even by strangers, could expedite a soul's passage to heaven.

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The Jack-o-lantern custom probably comes from Irish folklore. As the tale is told, a man named Jack, who was notorious as a drunkard and trickster, tricked Satan into climbing a tree. Jack then carved an image of a cross in the tree's trunk, trapping the devil up the tree. Jack made a deal with the devil that, if he would never tempt him again, he would promise to let him down the tree.

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According to the folk tale, after Jack died, he was denied entrance to Heaven because of his evil ways, but he was also denied access to Hell because he had tricked the devil. Instead, the devil gave him a single ember to light his way through the frigid darkness. The ember was placed inside a hollowed-out turnip to keep it glowing longer.

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The Irish used turnips as their "Jack's lanterns" originally. But when the immigrants came to America, they found that pumpkins were far more plentiful than turnips. So the Jack-O-Lantern in America was a hollowed-out pumpkin, lit with an ember.

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So, although some cults may have adopted Halloween as their favorite "holiday," the day itself did not grow out of evil practices. It grew out of the rituals of Celts celebrating a new year, and out of Medieval prayer rituals of Europeans. And today, even many churches have Halloween parties or pumpkin carving events for the kids. After all, the day itself is only as evil as one cares to make it.

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Monday, October 4, 2004

SETTING THE RECORD STRAIGHT

i wanted to set the record straight about something.  recently i wrote an entry entitled "ANGRY".  in it i told how someone made a comment that they didn't care for or like the many quizzes in my or other journals.  i had received several comments from people i know, saying pretty much the same thing.  and i even agreed with them to a degree.  to me, the quizzes are fun, but mostly are filler for when i don't feel like writing something original or if i have writer's block.  but the point i want to clear up here is that the entry entitled "ANGRY" was stating i was angry with AOL, not the friend or friends that stated they didn't like quizzes.  i think it is only fair to point this out, since they are all entitled to their opinions.  i was not angry with the posters, but with the fact AOL ate my entry before i got to save it to my computer or put it in my journal.  i did finally write the entry and get it into the journal (entitled "THE ROOMMATE"), but all the fire was gone from when i first wrote it.    to all those out there that come to my journal and read, i hope that you at least enjoy something inside my journal walls........i try to be diverse, and though i am not trying to please the multitudes, i do like to make someone smile.  i love comments, good or bad (just not profanity, please) so feel free to read and comment as you choose.   i am off to work now, so will bid you all adieu until next time...................

 

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THE ROOMMATE

I TRIED THIS ONCE BEFORE, AND AOL ATE MY COPY........ SO........I AM GONNA TRY IT AGAIN, AND SAVE MY COPY EVERY FEW MINUTES, SO I DON'T HAVE TO REWRITE IT AGAIN.............AT LEAST NOT ALL OF IT.    

for those who have sorta followed my story, you know i have been going through some hard times, financially and emotionally.  i lost my home in march, and have had difficulty paying the rent where i live now.  when i moved into this rental house, i was under the impression i would have a roommate in a couple of months.  that was 4 months ago.  the lady who was going to room with me, along with her daughter, said she wasn't able to do so yet.  this woman is not a stranger, but not a close friend either.  i met her at a local restaurant i used to frequent.  she was a waitress there.  when i first met her, she was living with her mother and stepfather, as well as her two children, a 19 year old son and a 7 year old daughter.  she is 36 and divorced.  we talked alot when i would go to the restaurant and became sorta friends.  then later, when things started going bad for me financially, i stopped going there.  she would call me from work and say hello, and then gripe about her boss, the owner of the restaurant, who actually is a friend of mine.  but i agreed with her, lol.     

this woman called me one day and asked if she could someday soon room with me, and bring her daughter.  i told her that was a good idea, but i had to have a roomie within the 2nd month after i moved.  she said ok, she would see what she could do.    

now a bit of background on this woman.  she almost lost her home awhile back, so moved in with her mother and stepfather to save some money so she could get back on her feet.  well, this mother of hers must have not wanted that to happen, because she charged her $800 a month for a room in her house.  of course, she had bathroom rights and i am sure kitchen rights.  i had told her i would charge her $450 for her and her daughter.  but she remained at her mom's because of day care expenses.     

by this time i was hurting badly financially, and was served eviction papers.  i worked out a deal with the landlord and remained in the rental house.  i called my friend and begged her to reconsider moving in with me, i needed some help.  she told me it just wasn't possible right then.  so, i continued to suffer financially, and received another eviction notice a week ago.  i was gearing up to move again........but didn't know where.    

thursday, i was off, so was sleeping in.  i had been online and on the phone with a friend from las vegas till around 7:30 am, so didn't actually get to sleep till around 8 am.  at 10:30 am, my door bell started ringing incessantly, and i drug my butt to the door, hair sticking up all over my head, eyes swollen shut from lack of sleep, and wearing a ratty gown.  when i opened the door, it was my friend.  she had a bag of clothing in her hand and was crying............and asked if she could stay a couple of days.  i sat her down and found out what happened.  seems her mother went off the deep end, following her around the house, telling her she couldn't read her books or watch tv in her house.  and then followed her into her room and sat and stared at her for 30 minutes.  and then told her she wasn't allowed to leave the house except to go to work, and she would have to call her when she got there and before she left there to come home.  now, this is a 36 year old woman we are talking about.  i understand that at any age, if you move back home, you abide by the house rules.  but come on.........this is ridiculous.  so........they got into a big fight, and the mother threw her out.  she had nowhere to go, and knew i wanted a roomie, so she came here.  she had been so good to carry me around and to work when i didn't have my car (even though i gave her gas money), i just couldn't say no.  so, figuring this was a Godsend, i said ok, you can stay.  i knew we could discuss ground rules and money later.  i wanted her to get through the first couple of days, and get sorta settled first.    

ok, anyone knows it is difficult to live with someone you know little about.  i knew it was going to be tough learning to cohabitate with someone after living alone for the last two years.  well, alone with my two cats.  i first found myself trying to be a good "hostess".  i would cater to her needs for food by cooking meals (which i don't always do for myself) and for daily needs, i.e. towels, washcloths, soap, etc.  i didn't have any extra toothbrushes, so figured she would buy her one the next day.  instead, she uses her finger or a washcloth with toothpaste on it.  i only have one bathroom in my rental house, so i knew we would be crossing paths there.  i am not the best housekeeper, but i do like things in some sort of order.  towels hung in the same place to avoid confusion of whose is whose.  that sort of thing.    

the second day she was here, i went to take a shower about an hour after she did, and noticed the rug on the floor next to the tub was soaked.  i have shower doors and wondered why it was so wet.  i asked her if she closed the doors, and she said she did.  strange.......i have been here 4 months, and never has the rug even been damp.  ok............    

i noticed my only hairbrush was empty of my hair.......not that i don't clean it out myself, but i lose alot of hair daily, so it is always a little "hairy".  but it was clean........i asked her if she had cleaned it out.  she said yes, when she took a shower, she cleaned it out, and then used it.  ok, doesn't this woman, who has hair down to her waist, and thick as a thicket, have her own brush????     

on friday night, she says she is taking a shower and then shaving her legs and underarms.  i said ok, and went about my business.  a few minutes later she comes out and is complaining that the razor isn't sharp enough.  i asked her what razor was she using.................she said the pink one........... i asked her if she meant her pink one or my pink one...........she said mine, on the sink...............i couldn't believe it!!!!!!!!!  she was using MY razor!!!  why would anyone use someone elses razor???  that is like using someone elses toothbrush!  and i don't have the extra money right now to buy any more razors................    

ok, i let it go.  it is now monday morning, around 5:45 am, and neither of us have to be at work till 3 pm on monday.  i had layed down, being so sleepy i couldn't hold my head up, and had gone to sleep immediately.... when 5 minutes later, i hear a distant voice saying my name.....then it got louder, and then suddenly a burst of light startles me awake from my sleep, and she says.............."hey, didn't you hear me calling you???  i am getting something to drink."  oh my gosh, she woke me up to tell me she was getting something to drink????????????????  is this how roommates are???  and she hasn't paid me a dime yet???  someone help, i smell murderous intent in the air..........................              

 

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Saturday, October 2, 2004

ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I..........AM...........NOT..........A............HAPPY..........CAMPER!

OK, I GOT A COMMENT FROM A JOURNAL FRIEND WHO DIDN'T LIKE COMING TO MY JOURNAL AND SEEING NOTHING BUT THOSE SILLY QUIZZES............AND I AGREE...........I WANT TO READ SOMETHING WRITTEN BY THE JOURNALER THEMSELF FROM TIME TO TIME.  SO, I SIT DOWN, OPEN A BLANK EMAIL SO THAT I CAN USE THE FONT I WANT, AND SPEND AN HOUR AND 15 MINUTES WRITING ABOUT MY ROOMMATE EXPERIENCE.  IT WAS AN EXHAUSTING HOUR AND A QUARTER, TO SAY THE LEAST.  I PUT ALOT OF EMOTION INTO THE ENTRY.................THEN I WENT IN SEARCH OF PICTURES TO GO ALONG WITH THE ENTRY.................WHICH WAS MY MISTAKE.  I DIDN'T SAVE THE EMAIL ENTRY BEFORE GOING IN SEARCH OF THE PERFECT PICTURE............AND SUDDENLY, WITHOUT PROVOCATION OR ANY ACTION ON MY PART, AOL DECIDES IT HAS TO SEND ME OFFLINE...........

                   THANKS AOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!angrysmiley.gif!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW, I AM TOO TIRED TO REDO IT.  SO, THOSE OF YOU WHO STOPPED COMING BY MY JOURNAL DUE TO THE SILLY LITTLE QUIZZES, BE PATIENT, AND DON'T GIVE UP ON ME.........WHEN I GET OFF WORK TOMORROW, I WILL DO THAT ENTRY EVEN IF IT KILLS ME!!!!!!!!!!

AND AOL, THOUGH I KNOW THAT THIS ENTRY WILL KEEP ME OUT OF THE EDITOR'S  PICKS AND ONTO THE JOURNALS HALL OF SHAME, "SHAME ON YOU!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

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(GRRRRR, NOW I AM EVEN MORE ANGRY!!!!!!!!  I JUST HAD TO EDIT THIS THREE TIMES BECAUSE THE WORDS KEPT RUNNING TOGETHER AFTER I SAVED IT)