HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL

                               

I even got all dressed up for the occasion.

THANKS AND AN EXPLANATION

i just typed a very lengthy and informative entry and lost my wifi signal and boom......it was all gone...........sigh.  i won't go into it all again, but do wish to thank each and every one of you who responded to my plea for help.  i am much calmer now and can do what needs to be done with a better attitude and perspective.

for those who wondered how my housemate could enter my apartment, i have this explanation:   

         the house is a 110 year old victorian.  this is what it looks like:

the entire upstairs floor is my apartment.  the right side downstairs is my housemate's apartment.  that is her window on the bottom right in the picture.  you have to go up 21 steps inside the house to my apartment, but it covers the whole second floor and  has a small back porch that has 25 steps going down to the parking area and garage in the back.  i enter the house from the front.  my housemate enters through a door in the rear.  she has 3 doors that open onto the common area downstairs, ALL 3 of which are locked at all times, thus i have no access to her apartment.  all she has to do to enter my apartment is walk up the 21 steps.  all of my doors have 2 locks on them.  one is the original lock which requires a skeleton key (i have the key, but am afraid to use it since those locks are so old).  the other is a dead bolt that a previous tenant added, but i don't have a key for.  i don't have the money to buy more locks, but i think i am going to take one of the dead bolts off and take it in and have a key made.  that should solve most of my invasion problems.  another major concern is this:  the other carton of eggs in my fridge were old, quite old.  i just haven't taken the time to throw them out.  if she had eaten a couple of them, she would have gotten really sick, maybe even had food poisoning.  i have several "science projects" growing in my fridge, lol.

i noticed several of you mentioned the word friend.  i AM NOT friends with  my housemate.  if we weren't living in the same structure, i would never have been friends with her.  we are so different.  our lives parallel in many ways, but she has reacted totally different than i have to our respective lives.  i don't dislike her, i just don't like the fact that she chain smokes (and the smoke filters up to my apartment), she is an alcoholic (that is my perspective, not hers, but she has approached me drunk on numerous occasions) and she feels she can just walk into my space without permission and take what she wants.  i am very private and feel my space is my castle and my refuge.  after she left me the note about the eggs, i felt raped.......violated........for some time.  once my car was broken into and my cb radio stolen, as well as some music tapes, and the minute i sat in the car i felt raped and violated.  not a good feeling.

since i have calmed down i plan on writing up some ground rules and giving her a copy and keep a copy for myself.  and like a reader said, if she continually breaks the rules, i go to the landlord. 

i also wanted to straighten out something about the scarf.  i had given her several scarves to take to her job to try to sell for me.  she did sell 3 of them and bought 1 for herself.  she still had 1 that she hadn't returned yet, and she told me that she planned on keeping that one for herself and would pay me on friday.  so i didn't have a problem with that.

well i better stop and save while i still can...............

 

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LIVID

i have sat and stared at this screen for quite awhile, not knowing how to start.  so i am just going to jump in head first and then sort and edit as i go.................

I NEED MY READERS' HELP!!!

something occurred this morning that has me so angry......so upset......LIVID!!!!  i am going to tell you the story of what happened, then i want each and every one of you that read this to leave me a comment as to what YOU would do, and how YOU would feel.  there is no right or wrong response.  i just want YOUR TRUE FEELINGS ON THIS MATTER..............

the story:

on fridays and saturdays i have to be at my second job between 8:45 am and 9 am.  i never like to be late and have not been since i started this job back in november.  but i also love to sleep in as long as possible, especially now that it is colder.  so i set my alarm about 15 minutes earlier than i plan on getting up so that i can snooze another 15 minutes before slithering from under my warm covers.  i have a set schedule every day i work.  first, the 15 minutes snooze routine, then up, bathroom, feed the cat, go into the kitchen to fix something to eat, sit and eat, and watch tv while doing so, then wait a few minutes before brushing my teeth, taking my shower and getting dressed.

all of the above takes me 25-30 minutes.  that is, if everything goes smoothly.  i don't like fixing a big breakfast when i have to get to work early.  i would rather snooze.  so i usually grab something simple, like pop tarts, granola bars, toast.....well, i had studied the fridge the night before and realized there was little to be had in the way of breakfast other than 2 "large" kroger eggs (if that is large, i would hate to see small).  i had already decided i would scramble some hamburger and eggs together.  i love the flavor combination, so left the hamburger out to thaw overnight. 

as i opened my bedroom door to a dusky hall, barely lit by the misty, rainy morning, i noticed something that appeared to be floating midair at the top of my stairs, which is the landing outside my bedroom.  it was white and looked like a piece of paper.  now i live upstairs in a 2 story victorian.  my housemate has the right half of the downstairs and the rest of the downstairs is common area to be used by us both.  someone would have had to climb the 21 steps up to my landing and place the paper there.  i noticed as i approached the white apparition that it was a note taped to my ceiling light pull cord angel.  i removed the note, walked to the kitchen, turned on the light and read the note.  it was from my housemate, who lives DOWNSTAIRS. 

let me note here that my feelings are, from the bottom step up to the second floor is all MY apartment.  if someone passes the first step without my permission, they are trespassing.  but i don't mind someone leaving me a note upstairs if it is important, or an emergency.

as i read the note i grew angrier and angrier.  she first informed me that she intended to keep the scarf i made that she had taken to show to someone, and would pay me for it on this coming friday.  ok.....then....she said she hoped i didn't mind, but she borrowed 2 eggs from my fridge.  she didn't knock and ask because she didn't want to awaken me.  i opened the fridge and voila........NO EGGS!!!  there IS a container of eggs on the bottom shelf, but they are no longer edible.  i sometimes will scramble one up for the kitties, but decided they didn't need to eat them either, so i just hadn't thrown them out yet.  she figured since there were 8 eggs in that container, she could have the 2 in the other container.  MY BREAKFAST!!!  i wanted to go down right then and scream at her but i was toooooo angry. 

i found one packet of oatmeal in my pantry that i didn't know i had and fixed it for my breakfast.  it was much better for me than the eggs and hamburger meat, but it WASN'T WHAT I WANTED!!! 

now, this is where you folks come into play...........

1)  am i wrong for being angry?

2)  should i demand my eggs be replaced immediately (she "borrowed" 2 once before and have never been replaced)

3)  if i don't do #2 above, what course of action should i take?

now, a footnote to this...........when i came home from work today around 6:30 pm, my housemate and her grandson came out of her apartment and asked me if i wanted a purse someone gave her for Christmas that she didn't want.  then, when she saw my face, she asked me if i was mad at her for taking the eggs.  i told her they were to be my breakfast, but said nothing else in response to the question.  then i told her that i had had a bad few days, crying alot over the loss of 2 friends, told her i didn't feel like talking to anyone, thanked her for the purse and went upstairs to my bedroom.

i don't know what i am more upset over, the eggs or the uninvited invasion.  just because there is a large landing at the top of my stairs that separates my bedroom and the kitchen doesn't mean it is public property.  that is MY SPACE, that i can proudly say the rent is current on.

ok, now that i have written a novel that no one wishes to read, i need your honest advice and suggestions, as well as your opinion on the matter.

please don't hold back...........she has no internet connection nor does she have a clue how to access journals if she did. 

HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!

FROM TODDLER TO TEEN, MY BABY

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IN MEMORIAM

IN REMEMBRANCE OF PAM, KIM AND LAHOMA, AS WELL AS OTHERS IN J-LAND WE MAY NOT BE AWARE OF, WHO FOUGHT A TOUGH FIGHT AGAINST CANCER AND LOST.  IT IS UP TO US TO REMEMBER THEM AND SUPPORT THE EFFORT TO FIND A CURE.

 

         

 

OPTIONS

Darkness surrounded her. She couldn’t breathe. Gasping, she tried to lift herself, to no avail. What was happening to her? Where was she, and what was weighing down her chest, cutting off her breath?

It seemed hours passed before she began to breathe more evenly. The darkness had not relinquished its hold on her surroundings, thus she still knew not where she was. There were no sounds for some time. Then, it began. Whispering. Or was it a slight breeze somewhere close by? Were there trees overhead, or bushes nearby? Why wasn’t she in her bedroom, in her soft, warm comfortable bed? Beneath her was the hardness, the coldness, of packed earth. But there was no smell of dirt, or sense of being outdoors.

She lay there motionless, almost afraid to try to move. Would something attack her? Would she be devoured in one quick movement by something wild in the brush?

Then unconsciousness took hold.

Upon regaining consciousness, she realized she could breathe fine. Her soft bed was beneath her, and her bedroom was lit by rays of sunshine coming through her lacey curtains. The memory of the nightmarish happenings of earlier was still with her, though. What had happened? Was it a bad dream, a nightmare? Had she been kidnapped and placed in a dark entombment and then suddenly returned to the safety of her home?

She sat up in the bed, believing at that point that it was all a nightmare; one she never wanted to relive. Sliding slowly off the bed to her feet she noticed how everything in the room seemed prettier, brighter, fancier. She ran downstairs and swung open the front door, rushing outside, not caring she was still in her nightgown. Birds were singing and chirping, squirrels were playing tag around the trees, dogs were barking at the mailman, the grass was the brightest green she had ever seen, and she could smell the very evergreen of the trees.

She sat on the bottom step to contemplate what had just happened. Then it hit her. The night before had not been a nightmare. Nor had she been kidnapped and returned. It had been a vision of sorts. She had fallen victim to herself. She had allowed the pressures of the world to take their toll on her. We have the power to choose……..to choose if we want to allow others to make us unhappy, or to brush off the hurt of their words and move on with our lives. To choose whether or not to allow the horrible actions of the world around us to taint our own view of the world. To choose whether or not it is important whether others believe what we say is the truth, because we know what we say IS the truth.

Losing people in your life, whether to death, loss of friendship, or other circumstances, hurts us all. It is what we do with that hurt, that pain, that makes us who we are.

ANOTHER LOSS

no one passed on this time........at least not in the sense of death.  but i just lost someone dear to me.  someone who has remained constant as an online friend......until today.  i have to admit..........it cut through me like a knife.

my tears are keeping me from writing as i wish.  my heart is broken.  this friend was there with me from the beginning of my internet experience.  she talked to me, online and on the phone, through numerous situations i found myself in.  we listened to each other when we needed someone to talk to, a friend to lean on.  of course, i admit, i leaned on her more than she did me.  she found love, true love, long before i did.  and now she has a lovely family and a great life.  i am still battling life in general, trying to find my way to that ultimate goal........true happiness. 

in an innocent email to my friend, i tell her of something i received via email from someone in my past.  she made a comment about not believing me when i told her how i felt about the situation.  being one of few people i have met online and then met in real life, i was cut to the bone with her statement.  she seemed so angry in her emails, directing that anger at me.  her last email said "i'm done".  i can only assume she doesn't wish to be my friend anymore.  i am devastated.  maybe i should be "done".  maybe i should leave this computer on the street and not write anymore.  maybe i should "get a life" outside of my room and this contraption i write on. 

i think i am going to just go back to writing in my private offline journal and not come here online anymore.  i can't take all the death and all the deceit, the losses, and the attacks.  damn, i sound just like someone else i  know. 

THIS PICTURE SUMS IT ALL UP FOR ME

MAKES YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR OWN LIFE

i just got online again after having a small battle with my wifi.  i was catching up on journal reading and came to Jeannette's Jottings and began to read.  that is when i found out that kim (I Shaved My Legs For This) passed away recently as well.  i can't stop crying...........it makes me realize just how fragile life is and how we have to not waste a moment of it.  i feel stupid now for complaining about my aches and pains and having to work when i would rather retire and do as little as possible.  i should be happy that i have pain when i awaken..........it means i know i am alive. 

KIM AND LAHOMA..............i have known you for 6 years online.  i wish we could have met in person..........but know that both of you will be truly missed.

sorry if i sound so glum.........i just can't help feeling so lost right now.

                              

INTERNET FOR NOW

well, after doing something drastic that i was afraid would wipe out my computer altogether, i have local wifi.  i was afraid to hit the "system recovery" button, but thought since my computer had shut off access to the "system restore" option, i would just go another route.  when i clicked that button..........well, the whole system shut down and i had to re-register my computer as if i had just purchased it.  it retained most of my files as far as i can tell, but it allowed me access to the internet......at least for now. 

Christmas is always sad for me when my daughter isn't speaking to me.  once again, i had no contact with her on that day.

then the news of my internet friend, lahoma, passing on Christmas night, ended me in a crying jag.  i cried myself to sleep.  now i have crusty eyeballs.......sigh.

i only had one kitty visit for Christmas din-din.........gray.  i fed her ham and puppy food, lol.  she liked it lol.

i have a new fleece blankie for my kitty, coatie.  i put it over the heating pad and haven't been able to pry coatie off the pad since.  i think i made a great choice in her present.

we got rain on Christmas, which was a blessing.  it didn't put much back into the lakes, but it was better than nothing at all.  we are in such a drought here. goes to show you that you cannot take even water for granted.  what is next to go.......our air???

i hope everyone had a good Christmas, and i wish each of you a very happy and prosperous new year.  i am praying that this year is better than last year.

  coatie in the drawer

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A TRULY SAD MESSAGE

i found out from nelishia that lahoma passed away on Christmas day.  i have cried for some time now.  but i shouldn't.........lahoma got to spend Christmas with her Savior. 

please keep her son Cameron and her fiance Robert in your prayers.

she will be truly missed................

SING LOUD, LAHOMA, SO I CAN HEAR YOU UP THERE.....................

LIVING IN INTERNET HELL

once again, i have no home wifi access................sigh.  i was doing great with a fairly strong connection to the internet at night, which is when i usually get online.  but since my computer has been out of operation for over a year, i needed to update my windows.  so................i let my computer do its thing for 5 hours or so, while all the new updates were added.  when i returned to the computer the next day, something somewhere now won't let me access the internet.  my next step is having someone who know what the heck they are doing come look at it.  sigh.................i miss my connection.

thanks to all the kind comments made from my readers.  sometimes my poetry is rather cheesy.  other times, rather sad or dark.  but each time i write, it is what comes from inside me, and that way i don't explode.  so, read what i write, leave a comment or not, and enjoy what you can.

i have a small update on lahoma.  her friend nelishia told me that she spoke to lahoma's fiance, robert, and he stated she was home because there was nothing more the hospital could do for her.  so keep them all in your prayers. 

rocky and gray, the 2 siamese looking kitties i feed, came around the other night for some of the leftover ham i put out.  they are so beautiful with their winter coats, especially rocky, with the rich dark brown ears, paws, tail and muzzle.  rocky letme pet him/her, but not pick him/her up.  i saw one of the white ones the other afternoon, but my housemate scared them off by coming home.

i had to laugh at my  housemate sunday night.  i was watching the survivor finale when i had to take a potty break.  suddenly i heard banging on my bedroom door.  i heard my housemate screaming at me, so told her i was in the bathroom.  after i got out i went downstairs and she and her grandson were frantic.  i could tell she had been smoking and drinking.  she told me that while she and her grandson were trying to go to sleep, around 10 pm, the door bell rang 3 times, with a few seconds in between each ring.  she told me she looked out and no one was anywhere to be seen.  then she told me she thought it was our ghost.  of course, i knew it wasn't the ghost.  why would she ring the bell???  i looked outside and no one was around.  then my housemate said she would go outside and check.  i am like...........NO, IF SOMEONE IS OUT THERE, THEY WILL GET YOU, SILLY.  then the back porch light came on.........and it is a sensor light.  i thought maybe my daughter had tried to get me to the door, even though we haven't been speaking much.  my housemate made me call my daughter to see if it was her.  of course, it wasn't, and i woke my daughter with her thinking i had lost my last bit of mind.  it didn't happen again, but the next morning there were notices about our power bill on the railing downstairs, so i figured maybe the mayor came by and tried to give them to us.  one never knows about him. 

i refuse to have my gas turned on this year.  i don't get cold and don't feel there is a need to pay both electric and gas.  the cat sleeps on a heating pad, lol.

well, i have bills to pay and must scoot for now....................

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOTHING TO SAY???

paula over at PAULINE'S COUNTRY TALES AND OTHER THANGS had an entry about the "cat having your tongue".  her meaning was that she had little to talk about in an entry, but made an entry anyway.  i know exactly how she feels.  since i only get a strong enough signal to access the internet after midnight each night, i sit in front of the screen wondering what to type even when i don't have anything to say.  i feel i am wasting my internet access time, lol.

i worked today, at my craft store job.  i am growing less and less fond of that job since i have the other one.  i hope to soon be able to quit the craft store and work only at the other store, but right now i need both jobs just to make ends meet.

for those of you that are older (50 and up), have you noticed that as you age you have less tolerance for loud noises and modern day rock singers who just scream into the microphone?  or is it just me, lol.  it is hard to believe that when i was a teen and young adult, i was the lead female vocalist and bass guitarist for a local rock band.  now i seldom enjoy "today's" rock music.  i still like to listen to the rock of yesteryear.

the weather here is still in the mid 70's during the day, and 50's at night.  a journal friend commented that it was 5 below zero where they live...........now that is cold, lol.  i hope it doesn't get that cold here this winter.........if it ever gets cold.

i am off work again tomorrow, but have numerous errands to run.  i would love to sleep in.  i took an hour nap today before going to work and it made my evening worse.  i was groggy all night.  i find myself sitting here now "nodding", but I HAVE INTERNET ACCESS........I CAN'T GO TO BED!!!!!!!  lol.

i haven't  heard any news on my online friend, lahoma.  i hope and pray she is resting easy and doing better.

i want to change the format of my journal, but am afraid to mess with it since older entries would be compromised.  i often use white or light colored font in some of my entries.........and if i changed my background, some of my older entries might not be readable.  any suggestions???

i am babbling now, so will look for a poem to share.

OUR CHOICE

I hear the sound of a train , a truly lonesome sound
The steel wheels squeal on the tracks, nowhere bound

I sometimes wish I could hop that train, going nowhere
And flee my life of hopelessness and endless despair

But as I sit and dream of riding on that train
I realize I am the one who causes all my pain

One cannot escape the reality of this
We can make our life miserable or live in total bliss

It all hinges on the way we see the world each day
If we only see darkness and doom, despair will come our way

But if we look into the sky and see the brightness of the sun
We have not lost this war called life, to fight we’ve just begun

Some battles will be lost as we walk this mortal land
But at the end of life, we can say we took a stand

Giving up and letting go are the easier paths to take
Either way we choose to go, the choice is ours to make

(C) by Regina 2006

                                             

                          

 

WINTER'S EDGE

since i cannot sleep knowing i have an internet connection available to me, i decided to look for some old poetry i may or may not have already shared with my j-land friends.  since it is fall, and nearing winter, i felt the following poem was appropriate.

Winter’s Edge

The spirit soars when skies are blue and a cool breeze blows in from the east

Soon their breath will be seen on crisp cold air and about heat they will worry the least

Transition from summer to fall is a wonderful time filled with holidays and celebrations

Those of us who live further north know all of the winter weather indications

Rain will abound and days become shorter as winter edges nearer each day

Children wait in the cold morning darkness hoping their yellow carriage is on the way

Many wonder why fall brings a feeling of happiness, hope and good cheer

After all, it tolls the end of life to some of nature, bringing to close a very long year

Maybe it is the long awaited break from summer’s humidity and heat

That makes people so very eager the cool mornings of fall to greet

Soon it will be the end of one year and another will triumphantly appear

The skies will transform from cloudy and dark to cloudless, sunny and clear

So I must say one of the best places to be is there, on winter’s edge

Coming in from the heat, growing cold, then warming to spring, a new start to pledge

(copyright 2006 by Regina)

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PROBLEM VIDEO AND MORE

for the people who read my previous entry, i apologize for it being too small to read and having a video that wasn't there, lol. when i attempted to enter that entry, my computer shut down on me, so i wasn't aware it even went through. so much for my "almost internet connection" lol.

i didn't get much done on my 2 days off. i tried to clean up the kitchen (you know how the cabinets need degreasing after a few fried meals?). i cooked 3 full meals and messed up the stove again..........sigh. i didn't even leave the house today. i am becoming such a hermit when i am here by myself. i did go out yesterday and buy a few groceries. i make sure i have food in the house, lol.

i worked on Christmas presents today (i make all mine) but didn't finish any of them. it is so warm, i hate to crochet. crocheting is for cold weather. they say on the weather report that it will be freezing again in a few days. no wonder we are all sneezing, sniffling and coughing down here in the south.

i tried to make a video of my silly cat today, but for some reason, it didn't take. my internet signal was weak earlier in the day when the cat was spoofing for the camera. she played it up good too, sniffing the thing, yawning, turning in circles. a real ham.

                                     

speaking of ham, i brought home the thanksgiving ham from work and have started scraping off ham bits to feed the kitties outside. i gave them the rest of the leftover turkey today and plan on sharing the ham for the next few days. i was going to wait until the weather turned colder so that their bellies would be full and they would be able to stay warmer. but i don't want to hold onto the ham that long. they get sick too, from old meats.

i have an excellent internet connection tonight, but as soon as i say that (or type that), it will probably disappear. i am keeping my fingers crossed.

i have to go back to work tomorrow and don't really look forward to it. i would like to be able to quit that job and work 4-5 days at my new one. but right now i have to keep them both. i should have been born rich instead of so dang good looking, lol. (that was a big joke, lol)

since i didn't go out today i have little news other than what i have read online. aol has some interesting ways that different countries celebrate the Christmas season. it is on their front page. i am glad i am not west of here, where all the ice storms are. my thoughts and prayers are with everyone out that way.

georgia is in a severe drought. it is a record one for this area. i don't know if any of it is due to global warming, but something is going to have to happen soon. south georgia and florida are mad because we don't want to continue mandated water releases from our lakes so that their wildlife and mussels can survive. i understand that water is needed by them as well, but we are talking human lives up here. water has always been something we don't even think of, but now, it is becoming a scarcity. lack of water brings about wildfires. another good reason people should quit smoking (hey, can't blame me for using every opportunity to make that suggestion to smokers, lol).

IT'S STILL HERE, WOOHOOOOO!!!!

well, i still have my internet connection............it isn't fast, but it is connected and i have a link with the outside world without having to go to the library.  i even got to do im's last night..........wow...........

i got an email last night from another friend of lahoma's that she had contacted the hospital where lahoma was taken and they said that she was stable and they were possibly moving her from ICU to a regular room.  so that is great news.

i had 2 days off in a row, and i don't know how to act, lol.  i need to be finishing up my Christmas presents, but since i have an internet connection, i have been trying to catch up on things i need to do. 

the weather is extremely warm here.......we have set record highs almost every day this week.  upper 70's in georgia this close to Christmas????  have i been transplanted to florida or california???  lol.

SADNESS

when i started in j-land, i met lots of really great online friends.  one of those was lahoma taylor.  my "hard" life paled next to hers.  she made me feel good about things again, due to the great attitude she had about life and the hard knocks life had given her.  i have been able to access the internet today via my home computer and local wifi.  so i started reading some journals tonight, making up for lost time.  when i got to one of my online friend's journals (who lives right here in georgia where i live) i found out that lahoma was in intensive care in a west virginia hospital.  lahoma has been given 48 hours to live.  she has a loving fiance and a 17 year old son who need and love her.  she has been through numerous surgeries and illnesses.  she has had both of her breasts removed due to breast cancer, and has recently had problems with congestive heart failure.  her kidneys have now failed.  and she is only in her early 30's.  my heart is aching for her and her loved ones.  please keep her in your thoughts and prayers, whether you know her or not.  she and i had a falling out online a couple of years ago and we never got back to being "close" again.  now i wish we had.  she is a fighter and if she has any strength left at all, she will fight this latest set back.

lahoma, i am pulling for you my friend.

YEP, I AM STILL ALIVE

i am glad to be working so much, but i am so tired all the time.  how on earth did i hold down a full time 40+ hour a week job before?????????  oh, wait, i was much younger.....that has to be it, lol.

i am off today (woohoo) but have so much to do, i almost wish i was at work.  sigh.  i mentioned to my new boss that i could work some thursdays, and he put me on the schedule for this week.  i will work the front end (cash register) all by myself (unless someone makes erica mad or hurts her feelings, then back up front she will be).  it is hard to transition between jobs..........the cash registers are different, the rules are different...........i even forget where i am when answering the phone, lol.  all in all, it is working pretty well.  hopefully i can cut the "old" job back to 2 days a week and work the other job 3 or 4 a week.  the second job is less stressful.

the weather cannot make up its mind........72 as a high one day, 48 the next.  windy, some rain, and just plain cold.  my landlord is pushing for me to have the gas heat turned on, but i don't plan on turning it on this year.  i already have to pay the electric bill, so why pay 2 different bills when i can heat with my electric heaters.  my house mate has already had her gas turned on.  that heats her ceiling, which in turn, heats my floors, and that means less heating i have to do.  i have covered up all the drafts and holes around the windows and air conditioner units.  i don't get as cold as most folks.  i just don't like wind.  even warm wind makes me sick.

i feel sorry for the wild bunch, but cannot bring them all in this winter.  i feed them once or twice a week.  they are all still around, just come over to eat on different days.  i think the rooming house across the street feeds them as well.  rocky and gray are absolutely beautiful with their winter coats.  the 2 white kitties, ditto and whitey, don't look much different than in summer.  i brought home the honey baked ham we had at my "old" job after thanksgiving and plan on stripping the bone and giving it to the babies to fight over.  instead of putting on my back porch though, i am going to put it on the ground.  i would hate for that big bone to fall on my house mate's head as she leaves for work, lol.

i have tons of stuff to do today, but really miss being online and reading my online friends' journals.  i got an email from one of these friends that i would like to put here in this entry.  i don't know if the story is true or not, but it does make you stop and think about things.  so here it is..........................

I was driving home from a meeting this evening about 5, stuck in traffic on Colorado Blvd., and the car started to choke and splutter and die - I barely managed to coast, cursing, into a gas station, glad only that I would not be blocking traffic and would have a somewhat warm spot to wait for the tow truck. It wouldn't even turn over. Before I could make the call, I saw a woman walking out of the "quickie mart" building, and it looked like she slipped on some ice and fell into a Gas pump, so I got out to see if she was okay.

When I got there, it looked more like she had been overcome by sobs than that she had fallen; she was a young woman who looked really haggard with dark circles under her eyes. She dropped something as I helped her up, and I picked it up to give it to her. It was a nickel.

At that moment, everything came into focus for me: the crying woman, the ancient Suburban crammed full of stuff with 3 kids in the back (1 in a car seat), and the gas pump reading $4.95.

I asked her if she was okay and if she needed help, and she just kept saying " don't want my kids to see me crying," so we stood on the other side of the pump from her car. She said she was driving toCalifornia and that things were very hard for her right now. So I asked, "And you were praying?" That made her back away from me a little, but I assured her I was not a crazy person and said, "He heard you, and He sent me."

I took out my card and swiped it through the card reader on the pump so she could fill up her car completely, and while it was fueling, walked to the next doorMcDonald's and bought 2 big bags of food, some gift certificates for more, and a big cup of coffee. She gave the food to the kids in the
car, who attacked it like wolves, and we stood by the pump eating fries and talking a little.

She told me her name, and that she lived in Kansas City Her boyfriend left 2 months ago and she had not been able to make ends meet. She knew she wouldn't have money to pay rent Jan 1, and finally in desperation had finally called her parents, with whom she had not spoken in about 5 years. They lived in Californiaand said she could come live with them and try to get on her feet there.

So she packed up everything she owned in the car. She told the kids they were going to California for Christmas, but not that they were going to live there.

I gave her my gloves, a little hug and said a quick prayer with her for safety on the road. As I was walking over to my car, she said, "So, are you like an angel or something?"

This definitely made me cry. I said, "Sweetie, at this time of year angels are really busy, so sometimes God uses regular people."

It was so incredible to be a part of someone else's miracle. And of course, you guessed it, when I got in my car it started right away and got me home with no problem. I'll put it in the shop tomorrow to check, but I suspect the mechanic won't find anything wrong.

Sometimes the angels fly close enough to you that you can hear the flutter of their wings...

Psalms 55:22 "Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee. He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved."