PEOPLE SPEAK ENGLISH DIFFERENTLY

My internet friend, Deb, sent these to me and I haven't stopped laughing yet.  I just had to share them........they made my day..........Thank you Deb for making me Laugh Out Loud......

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Did  I read that sign right?
TOILET OUT  OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

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In  a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC  WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE  LIGHT GOES  OUT

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In  a London  department store:
BARGAIN  BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

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In  an office:
WOULD THE  PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT  BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE  TAKEN

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In  an office:
AFTER TEA  BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING  BOARD

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Outside  a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE  ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A  WONDERFUL  BARGAIN?

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Notice  in health food shop  window:
CLOSED DUE  TO ILLNESS

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Spotted  in a safari park:(I sure hope  so)
ELEPHANTS  PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

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Seen  during a conference:
FOR ANYONE  WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON  THE 1ST  FLOOR

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Notice  in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER  ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL  CHARGES.
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Message  on a leaflet:

IF YOU  CANNOT READ , THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

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On  a repair shop door:
WE CAN  REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)