VENTING..........AGAIN

i would like to apologize to anyone who is tired of my venting in my blog.  but i didn't find venting in my private blog helped very much because i didn't get any feedback.  and i appreciate "real and honest" feedback from my readers.  so, here i go........venting again.

as i have mentioned before, working in a workplace with a group of women is difficult to say the least.  women can really be bad news.  and yes, i am a woman, so i know.  we have quite a few mood swings, we like to gossip, and we envy other women.  so, when a woman goes to work with a group of "all women", she should expect some complications along the way.

but no one.......I MEAN NO ONE........should have to listen to someone curse at them and threaten them.  that is what happened to me today.

one of my co-workers is extremely grumpy most of the time.  she has a face that reflects years of disappointments and hardships.  she seldom smiles, often just yells out in a deep voice things like "shut up", but we all know that deep down she has a good heart and she loves children.  most of what she says and does we ignore or joke with her about and move on to something else.

a few days ago i was looking in our cabinets for a container with a lid to put some leftovers in to take home for supper.  way up in the top of the cabinet, amidst numerous other container bottoms, was a container with a lid.  since i work in a store where donations of household items are made by the general public, one can only assume that the items in the cabinets are donated items for use there at the store for whatever purpose we need them, as long as they are returned.  so, i borrowed the container and when i was finished with it, i washed it and left it in my drainer.  i forgot to take to work with me.

ok, yesterday at work, there was another container like it sitting on the table, with some food in it, and the woman mentioned above said that it was hamburger steak and gravy, leftover, and i was welcome to it.  i mentioned that i had a container at home just like that that i had borrowed from work and forgot to bring back.  she merely said, "well that one is mine".  once again making the mistake of assumption, i told her i would wash it out and put it in the drainer when i finished with it.  nothing more was said.  i thought she was saying that the one there on the table was hers.

ok, now to today.  i was in the kitchen as we were closing up the store and the same woman asked me if i had brought back her container.  i told her i had washed it and put it in the drainer like i had said i would yesterday.  she suddenly got loud and said "not that one, the one you took home".  i told her i wasn't aware that "that" one was hers as well, and before i could get another word out, she screamed at me "well, hell, i told you it was mine".  i shook my head and said "oh my gosh, chill out, i will bring it on monday when i come to work" and next thing i know she is yelling at me and calling me a mother-f**ker and accusing me of things.  one of the other women was in the kitchen as well, and she told her to calm down and stop yelling and cussing.  then she told me to just let it go and i told her i didn't like someone accusing me of something i didn't do.  this woman hugged me and told me to let it go, and wished me a happy mother's day.  i gathered my belongings and started to walk to the door when the other woman came back in and started yelling at me again.  i walked on out to the time clock and when i got out there, she was standing with my friend, our "librarian", who donates her time to do the books, griping to her about what i had said and done.  all i said to her was "if you are going to talk about me, don't do it behind my back, talk to my face" and she yelled back at me that she was going to hit me in the head if i didn't shut up.  she repeated that she was going to slap me upside the head and i said if she did, i would call the police.   she yelled that she hoped i would call them.  the other woman walked out and heard the other woman yelling at me and repeated that we should just hush and go on home.  then she consoled the woman yelling at me by saying she needed to calm down because she had a long way home to drive and needed to be in a good frame of mind.

well, i was so angry i grabbed up my stuff, clocked out, went straight out the door and to my car and sped through the parking lot like a maniac.  i was livid.

ok.........now what do i do?  should i let it go?  should i have a talk with our boss?  should i try to sit down with this woman and talk it out?  should i call the police?  i know i need to get in a good frame of mind and then pray about it.  that much i do know.  right now it would do me no good to try to go to the Lord in prayer. 

i guess i am leaning toward talking to the boss, mainly for 2 reasons.  1)  another co-worker had the same type of conflict with her, ending in name calling and cursing and 2) if i go to him, there will at least be something documented that this has happened at least twice, and if something does happen, there is a paper trail.  i hate to say this, but she is one of those you never know if they are going to snap and do something crazy.  her son comes up to see her a good bit, and he is redneck to the hilt and brags about carrying a gun.  but am i over reacting to this?  should i be afraid of something happening?  i have to work, and i love this job, most of the time............

i do need to get a little thicker skin and not worry about what others think.  i think too that another reason i was already on the verge today of getting my feelings hurt is that our "librarian" fixed a nice big barbecue meal for all the women that worked there for mother's day.  of course, everyone always goes ahead and sits down and eats and leaves me at the register, by myself, and often there is little or no food left when i finally get to eat.  if the "librarian" hadn't put me back something today, i wouldn't have had anything.  while i was still up at the register, they let the guys that were doing community service come in and start eating.  so, i didn't get any cole slaw, and only a very small piece of barbecue ribs.  there was one small bbq sandwich left, but there was extra meat, so i piled some more on and made it a big sandwich.  and i ate by myself.........as usual.  it really makes a person who already has a very low self esteem feel really unwanted.  i need to get over that and realize that it doesn't matter if they all like me or not, as long as i like myself (which i often don't) and as long as God loves me (which He always does).

ok, i have vented.  sorry once again for releasing all this on you guys.  if i still have internet access later on tonight, i will try to put another entry in that is more upbeat..........and maybe a wish or two for you mothers out there...............right now, i am going to duck my tail and go off to my corner and mope and sulk.  sigh.........................