PAY IT FORWARD

                

                

i watched a movie tonight on tv.  that is the only way i see movies anymore.   and i usually don't have the patience to sit through anything longer than an hour.   but this movie kept me interested, actually, it kept me glued to the screen.  not many movies that aren't horror genre do that to me................. but this movie struck a few nerves...........and i had never seen it before..........so let me tell you what is on my heart....................  

i watched PAY IT FORWARD tonight.  for those of you who have seen this movie, you will probably understand what i am going to say.  those that haven't, well, i hope i explain it properly.  

i have been at the mercy of others for a couple of years now.  i lost two jobs, then lost my home, moved into a rental house i couldn't afford, and the girl who was going to room with me backed out, couldn't pay the movers who moved me from the house i lost, and almost went to jail over it, was almost evicted from the rental house i am currently in, had my car repossessed, filed bankruptcy (second time in 2 years) and am unable to pay this month's rent, so will more than likely be evicted in the next couple of weeks and be homeless.  my health leaves a lot to be desired (hypertension, diabetes, high cholesterol, anxiety attacks, panic attacks, to name a few, and no insurance to see a doctor or buy meds). 

i know there are many out there that are in much more difficult times and health than i am.  but that still doesn't make my own private hell any less hell.  i say all this to say this...............all my life i have tried to do for others........... tried to "pay it forward" for all the good that happened in my life early on.  basically, i have "done unto others as i would have them do unto me". 

that is, until the last two years.  i have been financially and physically unable to do much for others.  and it has truly caused me heartache.  after watching this movie tonight, my heart ached more.  recently, i was able to reclaim my car, and someone i go to church with GAVE me $2000 to pay my arrears in rent to keep from being evicted last month.  i want to be able to do something for others, not for glory on earth or heaven, but because i know how it feels to be on the receiving end............ and i want to make someone feel that good, and allow them to know there is a reason to carry on......................

i know that it is my love of God that makes me feel the need to do for others, but there is also a part of the human me that needs to see others smile.  i don't even care if the person i would do something nice for would ever know i was the one who did it (with God's help).  i just feel so good knowing that i could help someone become a better person by believing things are possible.  just think about it........if each of us did like in the movie, and helped three people in some big way (or even small way), and then asked them to do the same, and they did, wow!!!!!!!!!   what a wonderful world this would be to live in. 

though i am a Christian, a person doesn't have to be one to do this.  just be someone who wants to do something good for humanity.  there is no utopia here on earth.  and like in the movie, not all good deeds will bring forth other good deeds.......... but, if one out of 25 did "pay it forward", this world would still be so much nicer to live in............  

i also thought of a friend of mine from back maybe 30+ years ago, who went to medical school and became a pediatrician.  he married a registered nurse.  they eventually had three strapping sons.  but when he started his practice, he vowed he would never turn anyone down, whether they could pay or not.  they found out that the town they lived in, being a sorta backwoods southern town, had alot of indigent residents.  my friend and his wife moved to a farm with acreage, and began accepting livestock in trade for medical services when money was not available.  there were some folks who didn't even have livestock, and offered family heirlooms, antiques, and household items in trade.  so the wife opened a shop in town to sell these items............

thus, they bartered and everyone was happy.    we all need to get back to a simpler way of life.  not saying we all need to grow our own food, make our own clothes, and homeschool our kids.  but we do need to take the time to do something nice for someone, even a perfect stranger. 

it takes so little sometimes to make someone feel important, or needed, or just good about themselves.   so i challenge each of you fellow journalers out there in aol journal land to try this..........you don't have to do like in the movie, and choose 3 people to do something for...........but maybe one person..........someone you know, or maybe a stranger.  do something nice for them........even if it hurts your pocketbook a little.  even if it seems you can't let go of that certain item you love and cherish so much.  or even if it makes you step outside your comfort zone. 

you may never fully realize what you have done for someone, but will know you at least planted a seed of good will.