SICKNESS

for the last week or so i have had a really bad case of bronchitis.  i can't walk across the floor without stopping and taking a small respite.  fortunately, at least for this reason, i haven't been scheduled to work too much.  on monday when i worked, i took my severe congestion meds before work and felt like i was walking in jello all night.  so this past wednesday when i went in, i didn't take my meds.  i sneezed, i coughed, i choked, i felt miserable.  then i left the front and went to take my meds.  the jello feeling came back.  i felt like i was having an out of body experience the rest of the evening.

up till last night i was getting enough of a wireless signal at home to at least read my emails.  occasionally i am able to answer them.  but i cannot access my journal or anything else other than my mail.  i haven't felt well enough to care whether or not i have access to anything else.  today is the first day i have actually been out and about, other than work, and i am feeling weak already.

i have had some recent events in my life that have pretty much devastated me.  i don't know if i will be online much longer (not because of the cost, because i can get aol for free now) but because of my current situation.  i don't like writing things that depress people, so i probably just won't write much.  for those of you who still read me, and are praying people, please send as many prayers my way as possible.  they will be greatly appreciated.

i am sorry i have nothing good to report, or even anything interesting.  oh, wait, there is one thing....................

without going into what has happened in my life recently, i do want to say that i know i raised my daughter well, for she recently became my "mother".  i was not in the least offended by what she said to me, or the way she acted, for it was true proof that she had listened to me all those years i raised her all by myself.  thank you God!

in case i don't get back here to write more anytime soon, may all have a blessed summer.

THE ALMOST ACCIDENT

now if you are faint of stomach, turn away from this entry........

i work every day i am scheduled.  even when i am sick, i work.  i have not been well of late, having some severe gastric problems as well as severe knee and side back pain.  i realize that with age comes ailments.  and i am beginning to have my share. 

over the last couple of weeks i have had severe gastric pain.  i thought at first it was a kidney stone, and still might have been.  but i also have some gastric disturbances.

now i have said all that to tell what happened today:

my general manager is a man.  men do not usually understand women.  it seems to be the general rule.  today, i had an emergency situation arise.  i had a sudden urge, no, wait, a sudden demand, to go to the restroom, which is at the very back of the store.  i had only one more customer in my line, so i completed their transaction and threw up my closed sign, told the casher next to me i was headed to the bathroom, and hurried to the rear of the store.  i almost didn't make it.  i realize this is an embarrassing situation, not only for the person it is happening to, but to those who hear about it later.  but it is a fact of life and cannot be helped.

after completing my mission, i rushed back to the front and was met by my general manager.  he immediately began berating me for abandoning my post and not notifying my fes (front end supervisor).  i told him i didn't have time to notify anyone but the cashier next to me, and he tried to over talk me, and then got angry because i tried to defend my actions.  the meeting did not go well, and we both parted angry at the other.  i am sick and tired of being made to feel guilty for doing what God intends for us to do....and that includes using the restroom, getting something to drink and taking breaks.  the smokers take numerous smoke breaks outside during their shift.  i don't smoke, but if i stand still for more than 10 seconds and the general manager sees me, he berates me.  i know every job has its problems, and that if i were to go somewhere else to work, i would find something to complain about.  but to be berated in front of three other employees and numerous customers for having to rush to the bathroom is the last straw.  if i wasn't so far in debt as it is, i would have walked off the job and told him what to do with it.  but unfortunately, i have been unable to secure another position elsewhere, and have to keep some form of employment to survive.  thus........i suck it up and put up with it.  but you know what???  next time i will stand there and crap on myself and then tell him i must go home and shower and change clothes, and then report him for not allowing me to go to the bathroom.

ok, i am done venting on my idiot boss............

ANOTHER EARLY MORNING RENDEZVOUS

once again, in the middle of the night, i have internet access.  i have struggled most of the night to keep the signal going, mostly by adjusting the settings for my wireless adapter.  i guess that is the key to it all.........knowing what the heck you are doing, and adjusting the settings to meet your needs.  as in most things, i have miserably failed in getting it right.  i am assuming the only reason i still have the connection for now is that the internet fairy has fallen asleep and isn't watching what she is doing.

i have absolutely nothing else to contribute tonight, or rather, this morning.  i don't feel very literary today...........

MY FIFTH INTERNATIONAL POEM

Noble House has once again contacted me for permission to publish another of my poems.  Now I have to decide which one, or either write another.........woohooo.

Office of the Publisher Poetry Division London, U.K. 12 April, 2007 Dear Gayle, As you may know, Noble House is one of the foremost publishers of fiction and nonfiction works by new and established authors today. Our international poetry division has had the honour of publishing thousands of poems over the past twelve years. Recently, I had the pleasure of reading the poetry that you have had published in the United States. I congratulate you on this grand endeavour, and propose to you that your singular talent and vision deserves appropriate international recognition as well. For this reason, I have posted this letter to request your permission to include one of your favourite poems in Centres of Expression - a new poetry edition that is being distributed worldwide by Noble House . . . a collection of poetry that is perhaps unlike any you have ever seen . . . one where each poem is featured on its own page, and one whose quality is reminiscent of the finest 19th century antique poetry books. Hearken back, if you will, to the days of Emily Dickinson, Alfred Lord Tennyson, Elizabeth Barrett Browning, and William Wordsworth . . . the age of grand bookmaking. Poetry editions were some of the most highly prized volumes because of their intimate attention to detail - quality typography, fine ivory laid paper, and colourful ornate covers. Gayle, for this edition, we've returned to the traditional size, style, and quality of these classic 19th century antique poetry books. Scheduled for release in Winter 2008, Centres of Expression will surely become one of your most treasured keepsakes. Your publication in this edition will establish you as an international author and afford you the respect and admiration attendant to such an honour. International Copyright notice for your poetic artistry will, of course, be in your name, assuring that you will retain worldwide rights to your work of art. Best of all, should you decide to obtain a copy of the edition for your personal library, or as a wonderful personalised gift (you are, naturally, under no obligation to purchase a copy - notwithstanding the publication of your work in this edition), as you proudly turn its pages you'll find it one of the best values on the book market today. At only £23.14 (U.S. $45.55) for a hardbound, 225-page edition printedin two colours on ivory laid vellum, with a finely crafted and highly detailed laminate cover and a single poem to a page, this edition promises to exceed your expectations, and it will enjoy pride of place in your home. In fact, its quality is guaranteed. If for any reason you are dissatisfied, your money will be completely refunded in U.S. dollars with proper dispatch. Gayle, you may also wish to consider giving the public some insight about you and your artistry for this poetic showcase . . . perhaps the meaning behind your poem, or your own philosophical perspective. Because an entire page in the book is devoted to honouring your poetry, we can feature this additional material about you and your poetry (up to 100 words) on the verso leaf opposite your poem . . . you will thus have two full pages devoted to you and your artistry. Gayle, may we have permission to publish your work? Regardless of whether you purchase a copy or not, the international public deserves to see more of your artistic talent. You may Submit Your Poem and biographical information, and give us permission, all within the confines of the next page. And if you are inclined to order a copy of Centres of Expression, you may also do so at the same time. Sincerely, Nigel Hillary Publisher, Poetry Division - Noble House U.K.

BRIEF UPDATE

well, i had internet service for about 8 hours.  now, nothing.  i have moved the wireless adapter all over the room, stuck it to all the windows, and the space on the window furthest from the street seems to be the only place that works.  but it only gives me the signal from the city wifi, not connection.  i still think maybe greg is right when he told me that it might be the adapter isn't good.  i may take it back on tuesday of next week and see what they will do for me. 

so, as of right now, i have no home internet access.  i am still tied to the library.  thank goodness i have a card..........

hope all have a wonderful weekend.........i have to work.........sigh..........

those of you who have been keeping up with my connection to the internet problems will be happy to know that i have been successful in connecting for more than 30 seconds.  and when i say that God helped me, i am not joking.

 

i sat down at my computer tonight and was prepared to sit and play a half hour of spider solitaire before going to bed, and i noticed that my signal to the wifi was on, but i wasn't getting anything.  i opened the wifi access screen and clicked on "find network".  usually there are two showing, one is the local city wifi that i have been trying to connect to, and the other is a private access wifi, which has a security code and i cannot access it.  this time there was a third network.......FBC1.  i immediately knew where it was coming from...........the first baptist church across the street from me.  i was stunned.  i clicked on that access and it went through and immediately i was on the internet.  it doesn't have much power, but it is more than enough for me for now.  i have been online now for about 4 hours, lol.  not all in a row, but it has been on for that amount of time.  i even got an im from a dear old friend.  it was odd getting an im.  you can't im from the library, so i have not been able to communicate with anyone other than email.  it was really nice to be able to talk directly to them (well, type to them lol).

 

i was afraid i was doing something illegal, like stealing cable or something, but my friend greg, who is in law enforcement, set me straight and told me if they wanted to keep the signal private, they would have put a security code on it.  so i feel better now.  i just don't know how long i will have this connection, so i am making the most of it while i can.

 

i think my cat has gone bonkers.........oh wait, she already was, lol.  she is sitting and staring at the floor.........like there is something there.  maybe it is a ghost rat or something.  she was walking around earlier and looking around like she was after a flying bug or something, but now she is just staring at the floor.  i got the flashlight and took a look all along the baseboard, but there is  nothing visible.  if some giant spider comes out of there while i am looking, i might have to change my undies....lol.

 

i am going to close this entry for now, and see if it goes through.  i am afraid that after all this typing it will just disappear.

 

(ps:  i figured out what the kitty was chasing.........a gnat.......a good ole georgia gnat........whew.........)

 

EASTER HAPPINESS

i assumed my easter sunday would be rather quiet and peaceful, but spent alone as usual.  i am not one to dress up fancy and go to church on easter sunday.  i go throughout the year and let the "once a year" people go on easter sunday.  i slept in and got up and did my easter prayers, then, having been invited, i dressed and went to have lunch with my daughter.  now, my daughter is a waitress in a sports bar, so this was quite strange.  she had to work on easter, so invited me to have lunch on her.  that way we could spend some time together.  and we did.

there were no other customers in the place for the hour and a half i was there, so she was able to sit at the table with me and talk.  it was a very pleasant time, even though i was in a sports bar on easter sunday.

i hope everyone out there had a blessed easter.

 

SHORT TERM EXCITEMENT

during the wee hours of this morning, i kept hearing little noises coming from my computer.  i knew it meant i was online, but it was toooooo cold and early to get up and check it out.  so i went back to sleep and waited till the sun came up and went over to the cold computer chair and opened my screen..........voila........i had internet service.  so, i was able to read several emails and even send out a couple.  then, my internet world faded again, and arnold, the governator, said to me "you have been terminated".  sigh.........

just wanted to wish all out there a very very very

HAPPY EASTER!

(and remember the reason for the season................JESUS)

 

  (p. s.:  we sell these little bunnies where i work...........and they are really good..........but i don't care much for chocolate

IS IT TIME NOW?

for almost a year now i have debated whether or not it is time to show a part of my past life.  for a year and a quarter, i lived with a woman who needs mental, spiritual and financial help.  i fear if i go into too much detail, she will read this blog and come after me.  but then, this is a free country, and i have the need, and desire, to share with you, my journal friends (and some strangers), some of the horror i had to suffer through while living with this woman.  so, the following are pictures of the house where i lived for that year and a quarter.

that is daisy, the precious rottie mix that lived in the house, in the midst of a "clean" living room.  this was not the way it usually looked.......but for one reason or another, someone had cleaned it up some...........

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this is a semi clean dining room..........note, there is nowhere to dine.............

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this is the kitchen, where i was supposed to cook my meals as part of the rental agreement..........i usually just cooked in my room, in either my microwave or in my george foreman grill.  the dishes were usually piled higher than this all around the kitchen counter and in the sink.

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this is the woman's bedroom.  you can see the floor in this picture, but most of the time you couldn't walk in the room unless you stepped on something or moved it out of the way.  (notice, no sheets on the bed.....one of the kids musta wet the bed again)

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this was the woman's bedroom, AFTER packing up some stuff to move.  you can at least SEE the bed.

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this is the wall in MY bedroom, which used to be the kids' room.  see the nice drawings on the wall over my little "kitchenette"??

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the flash masked a lot of the drawings and writing, but this was the other wall in my bedroom, where the children "expressed" themselves.

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even though this woman had problems and was often cruel to me, i don't hold any ill will toward her.  she has mental issues that need treating, and i pray for her to get the help that she needs.

i am just thankful that for now, i have a place to stay and it is full of character, maybe even a ghost or two...............

SCORPIONS AND SNAKES

i was reading the latest entry of paula's over at "Pauline's Country Tales And Other Thangs" journal and it reminded me of something that happened to me awhile back. 

when i was married to my first husband, allen, we lived in a 70' X 10' mobile home in a wooded mobile home park.  the back of our home stuck back into the woods, so we got a lot of critters in and around our home.

usually i would let my husband go to bed first, and then i would follow.  as i was getting into bed one night, i spent a couple of minutes straightening the cover, smoothing my gown, etc.  as i smoothed my gown on my right side, my ring finger on my right hand made contact with something that stung the crud out of me.  when i jumped from the bed and turned on the light, and after screaming for allen to awaken and help me, i noticed something dark crawling across the bed.  i grabbed my glasses, and then i noticed it was a scorpion. 

now, all i had ever heard of scorpions all my life was that they were poisonous and you could die from their sting.  so.......i had my husband grab a rubber band and put it tightly around my ring finger to keep the poison from going further up my arm.  then allen grabbed a jar, scooped the scorpion up into it, lidded it tightly, and off to the emergency room we went. 

by the time we got to the hospital er, my finger was purple.........from the stupid rubber band.  when i checked into the er, all the nurses were huddled back into a corner, laughing.........AT ME!!  we handed them the scorpion and i was taken back to the room, the nurse removed the rubber band and the doctor came in.  he said i did more damage to myself by putting the rubber band on than the scorpion did.  georgia scorpions are not poisonous...........they don't cause any ill effects unless you are allergic to them, sorta like a bee sting.  but that i could have lost my finger due to lack of circulation from the rubberband.  boy did we feel stupid.........live and learn, i guess.

after i ditched the husband, allen, i was still living in the same mobile home.  i went out onto my front porch one day and since it was about 2.5 feet off the ground, i looked down to see a black snake slithering toward the woods, but right beneath the steps.  this is my first encounter with a snake that wasn't behind glass, so...........what do i do??  i run in the house........to get.........a..........FLY SWATTER...........yes i said a fly swatter.  first of all, just coming into the house should have sufficed..............no law on any book said that i had to go back outside till another day.  but no, i had to "kill" the snake with my fly swatter.  by the time i got back out to the porch, the snake was almost into the woods and i realized how stupid i must look, lol.  i know i sure felt stupid. 

of course i don't really like scorpions, snakes, spiders, etc., but have learned to not be so skiddish in their company.  that, in and of itself, almost caused me some problems.  when i moved into my first brick home, there was a huge mound on the side of the house where there had been a sinkhole from landfill, and the previous owners had filled it back in with dirt.  the home builders had pushed all the tree stumps and debris over to that side and covered it with dirt, which, after the termites and buggies got hold of the wood and debris and started eating it, a sinkhole developed.  well, filling it back in with dirt didn't stop the critters.  i was out cutting my lawn with a push mower one day, and i noticed some large holes.  of course, i went closer to investigate and put my foot down one inch from a snake.  i guess i jarred the earth a little, so it moved ever so slightly, and that is when i noticed it.  it was huge.........and after i came inside (and changed underwear, lol) i went to the computer and looked up snakes, and found out it was a highly poisonous species.......i don't remember which one now, but was well too aware of the species at that time. 

i have decided that i will limit my nature adventures to watching the little spiders in my windows, and squashing the occasional palmetto bug that flies in through the back door from the trees.  oh, and watching chip and dale play in the rain gutters under my bedroom window.............

CAMERA SUCCESS

after i had taken all those pics with my cheap digi cam, i couldn't get the computer to delete all the pics from the camera so that i could use it again.  nothing i tried worked.  i was doomed to have to go and buy another single use camera.  but...........miraculously, something i did last night worked.  i now have another 20 shots on the camera.  i guess that means that you poor folks out there in j-land are stuck with a future of my out of focus, overly bright and mundane photographs.............poor you.  but i still love photography, even if i don't have any resources to make it even a hobby, so i will continue to take pics of something as long as i have breath in my body.  so, my dear friends, my condolences to you all..................the picture taking freak is back.

MY KITTY........

     

these are pics taken with my webcam of my own kitty...........miss coatie.  the one where she is open-mouthed was so funny...........she wasn't angry, just lazy, and yawning.  though the lighting is bad in the last three shots, she is a very pretty grey and white kitty.

MY DAUGHTER AND HER BOYFRIEND

my daughter took me out to eat, along with her boyfriend, a few days ago, and i took my camera.  she is camera shy, especially when she hasn't had time to wash her hair and dress up some, so i had to take these on the sly.  her bf is a very tall irish lad, and in the face, literally looks like a leprachaun.  he has a leprachaun tattooed on his leg in full color.  i have never seen a leprachaun.......especially a TALL one, lol.

during this meeting, i found out something very interesting.  this young man's uncle is the CEO of the craft store chain that employs me.  mmmmmmmmm, maybe i can get that raise i never got..............

the pic above i am not all that happy with..........they are both smoking.........see the plume of smoke coming out of his mouth???????????  yuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

OUR HOUSE

i was going to wait until i was able to buy a camera with flash before i put in any pictures of the 110 year old house i live in, but since spring has sprung, and the flowers are so pretty, i had to go ahead and share.  now, remember, i am not greg kiser, nor do i have a good camera.  these were all taken with my digi cam bought at my church yard sale for $5.  so bear with me, ok??

 

first,

this is a view from the driveway onto the porch.  the little black dot in the middle of the frame on the roof is either chip or dale, one of my resident squirrels.

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this is a better shot of chip or dale.

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these are dogwood blooms up close and personal (taken on my back steps)

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this is a shot from further out in the driveway, near the street, showing the front porch and most of the front of the house.  i have no way to control the brightness of the pic, and since the roof is tin and shiny, it reflected the sun.  i have learned that i should only take pics of the house on cloudy days, lol.

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another shot of the front of the house, flag and all.

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a great shot of the side porch and the humongous cluster of pink azaleas in the yard.

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now this isn't in my yard, but i had to take a picture of it.....it is a cherry tree at the post office in a nearby town.  the color didn't come through well, but the tree was so beautiful in person.  beauty like this makes the pollen so much more tolerable.

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ok, now this is one you have to really look closely at.  in the very center of the picture, on the side porch roof, there is a white kitty.  this is one of the resident kitties that i think were abandoned by previous tenants.  they are feral, but this one lets me get pretty close.  she just sat there and let me take her picture.  must be a little prima donna.

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this is a much better shot of the little lady.  i have no idea how she gets up there.

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now she looks like she is telling me to back off, lol.

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so i did..................

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this was taken out my side kitchen window, and the windows are quite dirty.  there is no way to wash the windows unless you have scaffolding or very long ladders.  i have neither.

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this, too, was taken out that same window............

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i will stop with the house and critters pics for now.  i will have pictures of my daughter and her boyfriend and MY kitty in another entry.

hope you enjoyed sharing these with me..........................

PS:  I FOUND THE FOLLOWING PIC OF MY BACK STEPS.  NOTE.......THE LITTLE WHITE DOT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STAIRWAY IS THE WHITE KITTY.