FOURTH OF JULY

holidays are not my favorite thing.  i usually spend them alone......often even mother's day.  i have started this entry several times, and each time i looked at it, and it sounded way too depressing.  most of my entries are such, and even though today is one of those dreaded "holidays", i am not feeling in a festive mood.  but i felt i had to write something.  so i sat here for a few minutes, contemplating what to write, and suddenly, i knew what i was going to write.  since starting my online journal, i have become quite addicted to not only writing and working on my own, but reading and responding to others as well.  a few nights ago, i happened upon a journal which i couldn't read without getting a terrible headache.  the words were misspelled, the sentences were disjointed, and it was a grammatical disaster.  being an english major, i couldn't resist the opportunity to rush to the comment page, and post a comment, as well as a desire to help this person learn proper english and grammar, as well as spelling.  i received a response and it has changed my life.  improper grammar/english/spelling has always been a pet peeve of mine.  i never realized that my constant need to correct someone was actually a charactor flaw, and that "I" was the one with the problem.  the person to whom i directed my comments wrote me a grammatically disastrous email, but in that email i saw a kind, loving, compassionate human being who had lived a painful and abusive life.  a person who took my comment not as an attack on their inability to write properly, but as an offer to help them better themself.  this person reached out a hand of  friendship to me, and hopefully we will develop a friendship bond that will last forever.  her writings still give me a horrible headache, but heck, aspirin is cheap.  so this entry is in homage to that new friend, a person, who in one email, taught me what kind of person i had become.  thank you my friend, for helping me, when i thought it was i who could help you.  my suggestion to all of you is to never leave a stone unturned, never offer advice without offering friendship first, and learn to be compassionate and loving to all, even though they don't fit into our little "box" of expectancies.  this new friend has not only enlightened me, but enriched my life in the brief 2 days i have known her.  so, go out and find a new friend, and the more different they are from yourself, the richer your relationship will be.  enjoy your fourth.