yes, you read it correctly, my mood is happy. not sure why, since i didn't come up with the $1000 needed to keep from being evicted next week, but then again........it should be quite obvious why i am happy..........i have new friends. i have received such support both in the message board posts, as well as on my journal. i have suffered depression and lonelines for some time, having no real family besides my daughter, who is 18, and no longer lives at home. you might say that when i am not at work, i am a loner. i sit in the quietude of my abode, and make jewelry while i watch tv, and journal. occasionally i talk with my vegas friend when he calls. that is my existence. so it really makes me smile to know that occasionally someone thinks of me, and cares enough to put a thought or two online. thank you all for helping me smile more. i had forgotten how.
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My emotions still run rampant most of the time, but I no longer need to relive my life, for I now can use the knowledge I have gained from my mistakes to better my future. I have experienced a lot of life, and I hope I have a lot more to experience. So if you wish to travel the road of life experiences with me, come along.................
About Me
- REGINA
- I am an older woman who enjoys quiet walks on the beach or wild rides on the back of a motorcycle.
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2004
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July
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- RISING ABOVE DISCOURAGEMENT
- NEW CAR
- BEGINNING TODAY.........
- TORCH
- OVERWHELMING
- A MUST
- EMOTIONALLY DISTURBED
- REMEMBERED
- HEADING THE RIGHT DIRECTION
- $2000
- GOD IS AWESOME
- MEMORIES (a fiction, cont'd)
- DREAMS
- RHYTHM OF THE ROAD
- NEW FRIENDSHIPS
- FOR ALL MY RELATIONSHIPS
- BETRAYAL
- A SMALL REPRIEVE
- DOOMED
- MEMORIES (a fiction, cont'd)
- MEMORIES (a fiction, cont'd)
- MEMORIES (a fiction)
- DEPRESSION
- LOVE'S DEATH
- A DAY
- TO MY FRIEND
- SUPPORT
- FOURTH OF JULY
- PATHWAYS
- THE JOY OF A FROG
- SOLITUDE
- MOMENTS IN LIFE
- THE FUNERAL
- MY MOMENTS OF MADNESS
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July
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14 comments:
I am a loner..and I like it that way. Aside from close family that is. I believe most of us here in journal land and online in chats are mostly loners either because they have no choice or they like it that way. Yet somehow being online we get to bond and make friends and play around and have fun but it doesn't infringe on our privacy. That's my take. I'm sorry you've been lonely and depressed. I went through a few months of it for the first time in my life. Sometimes I wished Iwas dead this past winter. Silly huh? Somehow I found my way out of it though and I can't even believe or remember why I felt so bad. So there is hope at the end of the road...sometimes its just a long walk but you eventually get there.
I too consider myself a loner...yes i'm married and have kids and they keep me busy here at home but I do not hang out with people in my everyday life here off of the computer...while at work this one friend I had that I really liked alot invited me out after work for a couple of drinks and I politely told her no that i'd just be going home and she tried to talk me into going and I had to just come out and tell her that I do not enjoy that type of thing...I like going home to my family...thats just the way I am...sure I like having friends but I'm not one to talk on the phone too much I find that to be a bother and I am happy with doing things with my hub and kids so I really do not make that great of a friend in real life I guess you would say,....maybe that will change one day I dont know but what I do know is I love my online friends very much...they are who I am closest with and confide all my feeings too, along with my journal....so you arent alone really...you have us, and you have me!
Oh goodness, Regina! You're not leaving us too are you??? I'm very sorry. It seems like you just got here and you will certainly be missed by me. Godspeed your return and bless you through this rough spot. Hugs, Sheila
I AM GLAD UR HAPPY HM A WEEK PLUS AGO WE TALKED U AND I I THOUGHT SERIOUSLY UR POEM TO ME WAS REAL AND I SAT AND SIGHED HAPPY MYSELF THEN THE MESSAGES STOPPED AND I GUESS ONCE MORE I AM PUT ON A SHELF FORGOTTEN.. DO I DELUDE MYSELF TO THINK ANY ONE .. NAMED REGINA CARED? HMM WHO KNOWS I DONT. GUESS I WILL GO BACK TO MY CORNER AND WONDER FOR THE REST OF MY ALONE LIFE. WHAT THE TRUE FEELINGS SHE HAD AND WHEN IT ALL CHANGED APPARENTLY.
AARON.
HANG ON. GOT INFORMATION FOR REGINA HER X FRIEND THE ONE SHE DOGS OUT ON HERE SENT HER ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS AND TWENTY FIVE IN FOOD
NOW THAT IS A TRUE FRIEND IF U HAVE SUCH GOOD ONES.. HMM WHERE IS THE MONEY U SAY U NEED. DID THEY TAKE A COLLECTION OR SPEND ALL NIGHT UP IN A CHURCH PRAYING GODS HELP FOR U EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE SICK THEMSELVES. THINK WHAT U LOOSE WHEN U LET LOOSE UR TONGUE. DO U NEED SCRIPTURES ON TONGUE? IF SO SEND ME A MESSAGE ON THIS BOARD I WIL FILL THE PAGE.
AARON. MINISTER AND WHAT EVER ELSE I USED TO BE.
hope you get the money. hope you keep on smiling...
Come on Regina gimme a big grin, I know you can do it. Still wishing you the best. Paula
Kind of you to stand up for me Aaron, but no need to.
it is such a shame what one person on a mission of vengeance can do to cause others pain. apparently this person didn't read the entry about friends for a season, which was meant for her. instead, she had to drag innocent people into this. yes, my friend did send me $100 and also a box of food when i was hungry and had no food, as well as call the local police to stop me from attempting the unthinkable. this friend was kind, compassionate, and loving. then there were moments when she felt it was her duty to tell others personal private information about me, to maybe "help" a situation. usually someone got hurt when she blurted out private information. but i always forgave her. she has many good qualities. but she has never been able to hold her tongue. i wish her no ill will. i pray for her, for she has engaged in a mission of vengeance, which is not in God's will. the Bible specifically states that "vengeance is mine, saith the Lord". i will pay her back the $100, as well as the $25.00 worth of food, even if it has to come out of my estate after i am gone. i guess some people feel that friendship is something that has a dollar sign on it. i was never financially able to do for others, thus, i guess i am not worthy of being a friend.
TO AARON: i will not "air" our relationship here. i am not the one who brought you into this. i will respond to you in email. this journal is not the place for discussing us. it is a place for me to vent, to tell others about my day, write poetry, prose, and just have a place to run to when i need to let emotions or creative impulses flow.
Somehow, someway, you are going to figure out
what to do. I just know it!
Journaling has brought so many people into my life.
I'm so glad that you have discovered that!
-Connie
I am on no mission of vengence; re-read my previous entry to you Regina. I aired NONE of your private biz. I already told you I dont want anything from you but your angel and you already told me what to do with that, so JUST LEAVE ME OUT of this. If Aaron felt the need to stand up for me, that is his doing, not mine.
i truly don't understand. if someone "wants nothing more from someone", then why do they continue to read journal entries? why beat the proverbial dead horse? my only question is..........how would aaron even know there was "trouble in friendship paradise" unless someone had been "airing my business"? i have never hidden this journal from anyone......i have a private journal where i go to cry out my true soul. it is only read by me.....i just feel so badly for people who when they are "hurt" for some reason, lash out and try to "hurt" back, with all their might. aaron, i am sorry you were brought into this for whatever reason. but as i mentioned before, my relationship with you is not to be put forth here in this journal. it is personal, it is private, and if you felt some need to defend someone, then by all means, defend them. but, as you always give me "advice", let me share some too.........you love me, i am someone special to you, yet you bash me for someone who has been a part time friend. sorry, but that really confuses me. so, i will have to think and pray long and hard on my reply to you. but it will not be here, in this forum. it will be in private. bless you aaron. regina
okay please let me ask this in public since i am tired of hearing two sides of things u care but u dont write me .. hmm two let me point out i dont see u on to talk to u why do u htink i would go in here and part time friend? who me someone else.. if it is me i am on very little and trying to make sure all my mail is checked up to six times a day in vain hope the one i am writting in this journal too is going to actually remember i didnt die. if it is another then why bash them here. seems a little low brow to me.. ops i am saying my opinion not saying u or anyone must go by it.
i i sit and think hard about things. like u describe there are few things in my life to smile over. ur name on my buddy not hidden was one. now to be blunt i wait and look and try over and over and i dont see u there u dont know how that feels wondering did she block me. i am very open when i cant get u to reply to letters i send stories when u dont reply to those i send poems
when u finally stopped replying to that i picked my last effort gee i got a reply when i read ur diary and speak there... u didnt answer i was very very hurt and open yet. saying if u want to walk say so i hold no one prisoner i only can do what i can do. maybe no offense if u want to talk and not use this journal
u should sit down and write some one a letter the email is always the same and always open...
aaron.
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