DISAPPOINTMENT

we raise our children the best we can, and then, after they are grown and out of the house, they do things that both pleasantly surprise us, and sadly disappoint us. 

i was working the other night when my lovely daughter came into the workplace.  she looked angry, with a menacing scowl on her beautiful face.  i thought she was upset with her bf or someone else.  but, after i finished waiting on my customer, she came around and loudly announced she was very unhappy........with me.  ME!!!  ok, i do a reader's digest version of the list of things i could possibly have done to have caused this ire and come up with nothing.  so i asked her what on earth did i do.  she said i hadn't paid my car insurance premium and they were calling her day and night harassing her over it. 

well, first of all, let me explain why she is involved.  she recently learned i couldn't buy my car insurance and it was lapsed.  so she contacted my insurance company and paid it for me.  it was close to $200.  it was considered a mother's day gift.  that is, unless i didn't keep up the subsequent premiums.  then it became a loan, to be paid back in full.  i understood her reasoning, and agreed, even though i had planned on paying her back anyway. 

i paid my premium........on time.........and yet they called her.  they woke her up at 8 am after she had worked a late shift the night before.  so i can understand her being angry.  but NOT AT ME!  she didn't even give me time to answer before she started yelling at me about not paying my premium.  i even told her that i had the receipt in my purse if she wanted to wait till i could take a break and go show her.  she continued to fuss, even with customers nearby, so i just told her not to come on my job yelling at me about something over which i had no control and wasn't my fault.  she flounced off out the door.  i called to her that i still loved her.........i do.

on my break i called the number she gave me to call at the insurance company, and the young man was very apologetic, and told me that they had my daughter's number down as the contact number.  i told him no, she was the EMERGENCY contact number, and there didn't seem to be an emergency, so why was she called.  he deleted her number completely, told me the payment had been received, and put me on the "do not call" list.  it is an automated call center that calls you several days before the payment is due and starts reminding you that a payment is due.  but my daughter told me that the person she talked to told her that i hadn't paid my premium yet.  so i am not sure what happened, but the insurance company got an earful from me, as i did from my daughter.

i called my daughter's cell phone and left her a detailed message as to what the man said and told her i loved her, and as of yet, i haven't heard a word back from her.  i just don't get it.  how can a young person have so much anger inside of them.......over something that wasn't even my fault.  i wish i understood.  i wasn't that sort of young person, so i don't understand these feelings.  oh well, no matter what, i still love her..................

THE DREAMER

THE DREAMER

She awakens to shots fired in the alley

Reaching over she touches her mommy

At least this time they are safe

But next time might be different

Their cardboard box is all they have

And the dirty clothes they wear

Nothing fancy, nothing new

But home since she can remember

Her days are filled with rummaging through cans

Choosing which items are still good

Her nights are filled with shots fired, shouting

And shadows that frighten her

When she finally reaches sleep she is safe

Dreams are her salvation

Instead of dreaming of being a ballerina

Her dreams are of a warm, safe home

She doesn’t know how sad she is

For she is only six

By Regina

BLUE SILK MEMORIES

His feet bleed, but he feels them not

The freezing cold numbed them long ago

His bones ache, as does his heart

Memories still haunting his restless sleep

Dark blue silk was everyday attire

Pressed starched shirt as well

Now he wears well-worn denim

Found in a garbage can

Caviar and steak were commonplace

As was wine, hundreds of years old

Now, a cast out half-eaten burger

Fills the void for a short while

Not so long ago he had a friend

Shaggy, cold nose, but with a warm heart

A gang of thugs thought it sport

To take this friend and dismember him

Now, not only are the nights colder

But so grows his heart

He wishes he could forgive

But there isn’t enough good left in him

His hope is to go peacefully in his sleep

Awaking to heaven or hell

But for now he will curl up in the cold

And let his memories haunt him

(by Regina)

FESTIVAL

this is the candle lady, at her candle booth, at the festival last saturday.

i have other pictures, of the candles, but my computer is not letting me put them in.  so i will add as it lets me.

 

this is a shot of some of her display.  the two larger ones on top with decorations on them are ones i did.  not a good picture, i know.  it is a five dollar digi cam, lol.

another shot of some of the ones i did........the ones with decorated lids and necklaces.

more of the ones i that i decorated.

this is the last shot i took.  the blue candle with the pearl accents is one i did. 

the festival comes every year, and mostly it is lots of good junk foods you can't get most of the year except at fairs or festivals.  ie: funnel cakes.  i invited my daughter over to my house, and we walked up to the festival and just spent two hours enjoying each other's company and the sites.  below, if my computer will allow, are pictures of my candle decorations up closer.  of course, if there is nothing there, the wifi wouldn't let me add them.  so here goes.................

 

      

IS IT JUST ME???

is it just me, or are there an enormous amount of fires in the united states this year??  you know, the Lord said He would not destroy the earth by flood again.........and i have always felt it would be by fire the next time around.  could this be it??  it gives us something to think about.  i mean, the whole world is going to he** in a hand basket.  there are little to no morals left and being tolerant has led us to a path of destruction.  are we in the midst of God's vengeance???  something to ponder indeed..............

FINALLY

i made arrangements with the candle lady to meet her at 11 am at my workplace.  i got up early and got everything together, ate a piece of wheat toast with orange marmalade (mmmmm) and trekked off to work.  i went in and took all the candles out of their protective paper to show them to my fellow employees, and to check them to make sure nothing had happened to them since i left them in the breakroom overnight. 

i had time to sit and talk to those who were coming in and out of the breakroom, and those having lunch.  it was a nice feeling to be there and not working, lol.  one of my fellow employees, Richard, came into the breakroom to tell me that the candle lady had called and to tell me that she would be a little late.  sigh................here we go.

well it turned out she wasn't all that late, and she was really impressed with what i had done.  her little girl, who is about 15 months old i think, took control over the breakroom, trying to get into everything.  i transacted my business with Christine and we decided on $1.50 each for the jar necklaces that i "remade" out of cheap bottle necklaces, and $2 each for the rest of the necklaces and lid adornments.  she brought me 13 more candles to do.  we were adding them up, and she forgot about the 7 i brought with me.........that made 20 instead of 13 at $2 each.  then i realized when i got home that i had kept a couple here at the house that we didn't count.  so that will be around 22 at $2 each, and then another 6 at the $1.50 price.  not too bad i guess.  she offered to pay me for what i had already done, but i told her i would just settle up with her on friday when we got together again.

so, i am meeting her at 4 pm at my workplace tomorrow.  i just hope that John doesn't get mad at me.  he was there today when i came in.  i told him i was buying more stuff to decorate my candles with.  but i didn't, lol.

so, hopefully, tomorrow at this time i will be about $53 richer..........even though the word richer is actually an oxymoron when it comes to me, lol.  i have to buy a phone card, which is $20, and put gas in the car for next week, which is another $15.  wow, that leaves me..........$18.  i think i will buy me a house in malibu, lol.

my daughter called me 5 times today and left a message each time.  of course, i had come home from the meeting and crashed, so didn't hear the phone.  i called her back and she told me that her boyfriend had asked her to be a dealer for the Hands of Hope Clinic's Poker Night tomorrow night.  that is the clinic that i go to, and this is a really big thing.  so she will get paid to have fun.  she lost her job as a waitress a week ago, and monday she starts a new waitressing job at O'Charley's.  they hired her on the spot.  she loves those tips, lol.

my internet is still intermittent, so i often cannot get online to see if anyone has written something new in their journals.  so, for those who still read my sometimes boring entries, i will be commenting in yours, if the internet allows.

i need to get into bed now, for i have 9 more candles to decorate before 4 pm tomorrow.  i am too tired to try working with small beads tonight.  plus the kitty is letting me know it is time for me to settle down for she is ready to snuggle.

so unless i find i cannot sleep, i will end here...........goodnight all.............

 

HOMELESS

She sits alone, skin wrinkled with years of hard life

She has such a story to tell, but no one to hear

Long ago she was abandoned by family and friends

Because she chose drink over living for so long

She no longer is slave to the liquid, but her fate is sealed

All have passed her by and moved on

Is she damaged goods, not worthy of our listening?

Is she forever silenced because we don’t care?

She is someone’s daughter

She is someone’s mother, or sister

She exists only in her own mind

She relives the past daily, but has no one to share it with

Don’t cross the street to avoid her

Cross the street to meet her, and hear her story

Maybe she is a little crazy, maybe not

What can you possibly lose by listening?

What a multitude you could gain...........

(by Regina)

SHOULD I TRUST HER??

ok, i made contact with the candle lady today.  she came by my workplace, after i had gone on break, so i had to get someone to cover for me while i went to the back and showed her what i had.  now....she liked everything i made.  said she was really impressed.  she asked me how many more i could do and i told her that i could probably finish off the ones i already had at home, then do 10-15 more.  she asked me to swing by her house after i got off work, and she would provide me with the jars.  i had asked if i could come by tomorrow, since i was off, and she said she would be up, and i should come by tonight. 

of all nights, this was the floor cleaning lady night at work.  she was late, as usual, and we all had to wait till she finished before we could clock out.  i had told the candle lady that i would be late, but didn't realize it would be SO late.  so i tried calling her at 10 pm to tell her i was still at work.  no answer.  about five minutes later the assistant manager told us to go ahead and clock out and leave.  so we did. 

i got into my car and taking the candle lady's directions in hand, i drove to her house, at night, with night blindness.  she lives way out in the boonies too.  i am just glad i didn't have a flat tire or other car emergency.

i arrived at her house, walked up to the door, knocked, knocked, rang the bell, knocked, rang and rang.............she never came to the door.  i was livid.  i don't like driving at night because i have night blindness.  it is not a big deal if i am going the same route night after night.  but being in an area i was not familiar with, as well as having to squint to see road signs, it was very difficult getting to her house.  i realize she has a husband and a small daughter, but i am the one who said we could wait till tomorrow.  i figure that she went to lay down with the child and fell asleep.  but this makes me wonder if i should trust her.  she has promised to call me several times and never did.  and i was afraid she wouldn't come by tonight at work.  but she DID do that.

i am going to go ahead and decorate the  jars and i guess just make sure she pays me before i turn them over to her.  jar candle hostages.............lol.

ASIAN HERITAGE MONTH???

ok, let me start by saying i am not prejudiced against any race.  but i have often wondered why african americans get a whole month to honor their heritage, and i never hear anything about other ethnic groups getting the same treatment.  well..........

i just saw on tv that may is asian heritage month............HUH???  how come i have never heard of this???  how come it was never a part of my daughter's education, yet black history month was celebrated every year???  this didn't just happen either.......it has been around for many years.............yet.........i have never heard a word about it.  i am scottish/irish........and of course, i get one day a year.........st. paddy's day.  the american indian, from whom we stole their land, their lives, and their heritage, doesn't get a special month...........or if they do, i have never heard of it.  i made sure that my daughter's class every year up through elementary school did a week long study on american indians.  if anyone should be mad about the "white man" taking things away, it is them.

i can hear those muttering in the background that indians were savages........mmmm.....if you believe in cave men, they were too.  they knocked people in the head with clubs, and dragged their women around by their hair.  the american indian lived off the land, and suddenly the land was swept out from under them.  i would be a little pissed off too.

ok, i have vented.........and this could be the reason i only have a few readers still.  but i don't care.  i will continue to speak my mind.......if you disagree, tell me so, nicely, lol.  if you agree, tell me as well.  after all, though i am very committed to my opinions, they are mostly only that........MY OPINIONS. 

so, to all of you out there that are asian or part asian...........HAPPY ASIAN HERITAGE MONTH....................

HOPING

today the woman who asked me to decorate her candle jars came into the store.  she brought me some jars with candles already inside.  she asked me to decorate those as well.  now, i am having fun doing these, and coming up with new ideas, but i haven't seen any money yet.  she is coming by the store again tomorrow to see what i have done so far, and hopefully will pay me for the ones she already likes. 

i brought the finished candles home and started working on them.  she asked me to go ahead and glue some sort of decorations to the lid of one of them, so, reluctantly, i did so tonight.  i was rather pleased with the results.  the only problem is the glue takes some time to dry.  i am off work thursday through sunday, but she will need these candles done by saturday, which is when the local festival will occur.  i just hope she likes what i have so far.  i can make about 10 more on thursday, and about that many or a few more on friday.  i am keeping my fingers, legs, arms and anything else crossed that she will pay me before saturday.  i am figuring she will pay me if they sell on saturday, but that wasn't our deal.  sigh............i need a real job, one that i love going to every day...............any offers????

COMPUTER LOVE

                                      

                               I LOVE MY COMPUTER......................

(for some reason, the pic doesn't show up for some people.  if that is the case, it is  a pic of my kitty hugging the computer tower)

BATHROOM ODDITIES

if you are wondering what today's entry's inspiration was, check out the following journal:

http://journals.aol.com/dornbrau/DUSTBUNNYCLUBOFNORTHAMERICA

this entry brings about something that happened recently at work.

i always get to work early so that i might use the little girls' room, comb my hair and straighten up a bit, as well as catch my breath before i start my night of toil.  one day, as i sat upon the throne, someone came into the stall next to mine.  now, this is a woman's restroom, not a unisex restroom.  i glanced down at the shoes and noticed that they were pointed TOWARD the toilet, like a man does when he uses the facilities.  i was a bit worried.  then, i heard unzipping, pulling down, and splatter.  i was so shocked, i hurried up and finished, came out of my stall, started to wash my hands, in hopes to see the person come out of the stall and see whether it was male or female.

was i ever shocked when the door opened.............not only was it a woman, it was someone i knew, casually.  she lived in the same neighborhood as i did about 15 years ago.  her mother was a neighbor as well.  i smiled a very difficult smile and said hello.  she spoke back.  i was shaken the rest of the day.  my mind still conjurs up the sight of those feet turned toward the toilet when i go into the stall from time to time.

is this a common practice among some women????  it may explain where the um, log came from in dorn's journal entry.

ok, i am returning you to your regualarly scheduled journaling...................

BOYS

i was going through my poetry and came across this one.  it has nothing at all to do with my own personal experiences, for i had a girl, not a boy.  i wouldn't have any idea how to raise a boy.  but i am sure that mothers of boys out there in j-land will recognize some of their own life in this poem..........enjoy and

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

to all.

 

BOYS

 

She watched them play outside her door

Making sure they were safe and sound

 

Even their dirty smudged faces she did adore

As she watched them wrestling there on the ground

 

She had never imagined life with three little boys

Though many had said they were easier to raise

 

After they slept each night she put away their toys

Trains, cars, soldiers instead of dolls dressed in lace

 

It seemed they seldom slowed down for long

But every once in awhile one would give her a kiss

 

She hoped they would grow up healthy and strong

Marry and live forever in love’s heavenly bliss

 

For now she was content with watching them play

And making them good things to eat

 

While she taught them life’s lessons for another day

And wiped off the spattered toilet seat

 

Her heart had longed for a petite little girl

Who would snuggle and cuddle all the time

 

Whose hair mommy could brush, comb and curl

And would sit quietly while she read a nursery rhyme

 

Instead God blessed her with three little boys

Who had wrapped themselves tightly around her heart

 

Even with all their sneaky ways and ploys

And how each other they tried to outsmart

 

So at night when prayers had been said

And she wiped the last grime off a face

 

She tucked each one into their bed

And thanked God for His abundant love and grace

(by Regina)

THE "DO PETS GO TO HEAVEN" DEBATE

recently there has been a debate going on in a local paper concerning whether or not our pets, or animals in general, have souls and/or go to heaven.  any animal lover would relish the thought that they would be able to see all their past beloved pets once in heaven.  my personal view is such:  as per the Bible, the only way to heaven is through salvation.  thus, animals not having the ability to accept or decline the gift of God's Son, Jesus, i.e. they have no soul, would make it impossible to make the journey either to heaven, or, the other alternative.  now that is not to say that there will be a semblance of things we loved here on earth in heaven.........we are promised streets of gold, and other wondrous fortunes, and are told that we will know each other even though we will not have our current earthly bodies.  so i cannot say that we will or will not perceive one of the many treasures in heaven as a past pet.  but i feel that being in the presence of our Lord will be much more powerful a feeling than knowing a past beloved pet is among us there on the streets of gold past the gates of pearl.

i would love to know what others think about this.  i do not judge, thus your comment will not be brought into a big discussion.  i love the idea of the rainbow bridge, which is where past beloved pets go to await their earthly masters on their way to heaven.  i know in my own heart that this is not the case.  in fact, it brings peace to my mind and heart to know that my past pets will not have a further journey.  why, you ask?  i would hate to think that two of my cats and one of my dogs from my youth would be burning in hades..................they were awful pets, lol.  and if animals can go to heaven, then most assuredly they can go to h.........................

i hope i haven't offended anyone, or hurt anyone's feelings.  i am one who doesn't try to convince others that my way is the only way.  believe whatever brings you peace and happiness. 

i know, i know, you wish i would go back to being unable to find something to write about..........lol.

AIN'T IT A HOOT!!!!

now this is ludicrous..........i mean truly ridiculous............i have internet..........i have had internet all evening.........AND I CANNOT THINK OF ANYTHING TO WRITE ABOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!  nothing is coming to mind.........this isn't writer's block, this is writer's death...............

ok, since i am here, and my few readers want something to read...........i will relate what just happened with my cat.

every evening my kitty likes to sit next to me no matter what room i am in.  she sleeps up next to me at night, even when it is hot.  she is usually very patient with me, and knows eventually i will go to bed and she can curl up.  a few minutes ago i realized she was nowhere to be found.  not on her little perch next to the computer........not on the carpet next to my rolling computer chair.........not anywhere.........so i thought.  i turned around and looked over toward the bed..........AND THERE SHE SAT, RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE.........she was saying to me "mommy it is time to go to bed.  i need to curl up and slumber.......i need my beauty rest".  i couldn't stop laughing. 

OK OK OK..........I HAVE BECOME THE OLD CAT LADY...............(mumbles she knew it would happen some day)

ok, i found a poem i had written about my kitty.  here goes:

 

She smiles as I stroke her silky hair. She is content.

Happiness is knowing she is loved, and that I am Heaven sent.

Life without me would be harsh, cruel and cold.

I cannot imagine being without HER as I am growing old.

She asks so little of me but to be held and told all is right.

I make sure she has her meals, both morning and at night.

I know she will not outlive me, and that saddens me so.

I have grown to love her so very much, I’ll hate to see her go.

But for now I will enjoy her company as she enjoys mine.

And not worry about how many lives are left out of her nine.

Yes, I am speaking of my fat and furry friend.

Who, if she could, would be with me all the way to the end.

                                            (by Regina)

I LOVE YOU, NOT

I LOVE YOU, NOT

 

I love you, not because your hair is long

But because my heart ever longs for you

 

I love you, not because you are so strong

But because of how you strengthen me

 

I love you, not because you show humor sometimes

But because your smile and your wit keep my spirit alive

 

I love you, not because you love me

But because you are love

 

*by Regina

ANOTHER DAY OF ONLINENESS

my wifi signal has been intermittent most of the day.  i wasn't able to do more than open mail and read it.  this is the first time i have been able to access journals.  i am writing now and hoping that the signal remains, as it has for the last two hours.

i got a text message today from my daughter.  a girl at my work messed up my cell phone by readjusting something in the text section, so i wasn't able to do anything but read the message and then called my daughter back.  the message was not one that a mother wants to hear..............my daughter was fired friday night from a job she has had and has busted her butt on for over 2 years.  of course, she was obviously upset, and though i don't approve of what she did afterwards, i at least understand.  she got drunk.  she is legal age now, so i can't say anything about it.  she was responsible enough to know not to drive drunk so she stayed at the apartment where she was drinking till around 3 am on saturday morning.  her boyfriend showed up to pick her up and she left her car there.  the next day (today, sunday) the friend where she left the car called and told her that she hated to inform her of this, but her car had been broken into through the passenger side window and they took her stereo. 

now, i could have been a mother, and told her that is what happens when you drink and aren't able to take care of your own business, but instead, i told her i was so sorry to hear about it, and though she has helped me out of some messes lately, i was not financially able to help her, but if she needed a ride somewhere while the car was being fixed or just wanted to come over and talk, i was there for her.  my therapist told me several years ago that it was time i quit trying to be her mother, and be a friend.  of course, it doesn't make it any easier to accept the things that happen in your child's life, but there isn't any strife between us anymore.  and that in and of itself is worth the effort of befriending her.

my heart goes out to her, but she has already taken care of most of the problem.  a friend is getting a window for her cheaper, and putting it in for free.  and another friend is giving her a stereo and putting it in for free.  idon't have those types of friends.....what did i do wrong, lol.

 

WRITING FROM MY OWN PC

wow, it feels good to write from home..........i usually have to go to the library.  of course, though i have started this entry online at home, there is no guarantee it will go through............so, here is crossing my fingers...........

i slept all day.  not sure why, other than it was cloudy and cool, and there didn't seem to be much reason to do anything else.  i should have gotten out and walked to the square and taken some pictures of the murals painted here and there on brick walls.  i have been planning to do that for some time........just haven't.

of course, the cat was by my side all day.........in bed, in the chair, in the hall, in the kitchen, where i went, she went.  i was cooking supper and she even stood at the open door and called out LOUDLY to me.  she has gotten very needy lately.  i guess because i have been home for several days at a time, and then i suddenly started getting a few more hours at work.  she misses me.

since i didn't go anywhere today, i have little to talk about.  ooooooooh dang it.  the signal just went off on the puter.  that means i may not be able to send this entry.  i am going to try to send it, then i can always add more after it goes through...............

ADMIRATION AND RESPECT

after venting about a local police officer "breaking the law", i felt it important to state the following:

for as long as i can remember, i have respected and admired three groups of people: police officers, fire fighters, and teachers.  the first two protect us daily, much of what they do not even noticed by john q. public.  the latter, teachers, help form our future........our kids.  i have always felt that these three extremely important groups in our society are underpaid and under appreciated.  i think that is why when i run across a member of one of these groups not living up to their obligations, i get a bit disgruntled.  we all make mistakes, and in some occupations, the mistakes are more evident.  i truly hope that the incident with the police officer was an isolated case.  but, from experience, i don't think it is. 

i am not down on any of these groups.  i still fully admire and respect them, except for the bad apples that sometimes spoil the barrel.  we are getting too lax in this world of ours.  we accept too much without questioning it.  if we don't get a handle on even the small things, there will be nothing to pass down to our children and their children.  it saddens me that my own daughter will live in a world that has become what it has today, and will possibly worsen long after i am gone.

i just wanted to straighten things out.............i am not a cop hater.  or do i think most of them are bad apples.  just a few here and there. 

AND IF THERE IS SOMEONE OUT THERE THAT HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH RAISING THESE SALARIES, THEN PAY HEED...........THESE PEOPLE DESERVE MORE MONEY FOR WHAT THEY DO................

CANDLE DECORATING

in my "poolside" entry i stated i had been asked by a customer at work to look into decorating the soy candles that she makes.  i was not sure what they even looked like, as in whether they were pillar candles, or jar candles, etc.  i went to look at them, and they are small jar candles.  the one i saw decorated (by the candle maker herself) didn't have much decoration.  it had a few glass beads strung around the neck of the jar as a necklace, and then had some glued to the top of the jar lid.  very simple, and not very creative.  i was thinking i could do much better than that, but would she agree to paying me at least $1 per candle. 

well...........i talked to her yesterday evening and told her i would be glad to work with her, and she asked me how much i would charge per candle.  i told her i wasn't sure the price of her candles, and to tell me what she could pay me and still make a profit.  she offered $1.50 to $2 a candle..................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....................woooohooooo!!!!

of course, i told her i would supply the beads (i like my choices better than hers, lol) which i can get at a discount at work.  i am thinking it will cost me about 50-60 cents or less to do each candle, so that would be about $1 profit or more per candle, just for me.  and she wants to do about 45 for a local arts and crafts festival that is coming up in the middle of may.  if this goes well, i might have another sideline, lol.  now if i could only sell some jewelry, lol.

i did get some orders for hemp jewelry from an online friend who i met several years ago and became a "real" friend.  she wants me to make them for her kids and step kids, as well as her husband's nephew.  that will be another $75.  and right now, every penny is important. 

MMMMMMMMMMMMM...interesting

in my last entry i presented a copy of an article i put in a local paper.  i have written short articles often, and my articles have ALWAYS been printed, either in the current publication, or the next one.  i went to this week's publication and thumbed through till i found the page that would contain the article, and.................not there.  this raises some questions...........did they omit it by error?  or were there too many entries for it to make it to the list? (i doubt this, for some of the entries were silly or stupid one sentence items)  or........is the paper afraid of saying anything at all that is against police officers? 

as a friend of mine, who is a police officer, pointed out, this officer could have been on a minor mission that did not require lights and siren.  yep.........i followed the officer straight to the captain d's and watched what looked like a male officer (hard to tell sometimes these days) get out of the car and walk over to another car, where a woman got out and accompanied him into the restaurant.  i guess she was the backup...........sigh.  i just don't understand why it is that people just cannot follow the rules.  and that means everyone.  i guess this officer was late for lunch with the wife or girlfriend, and wanted to make sure that they didn't get a "ticket" from this person for being late for lunch. 

i have only gotten two tickets in my 39 years of driving, and both were recently, in the past 2 years.  so this isn't a complaint from a disgruntled traffic violation perpetrator.  it is from me, a concerned citizen, that likes to see things work the way they are meant to.  i am going to submit the article again and see what happens.

ok, i am done venting..........at least about this..............

WEEKLY PAPER ARTICLE

please don't take this wrong (especially you, greg, lol) but i placed the following article in a local paper.  i am sure there will be some out there that feel that i am being petty.  maybe i am, but wait till you are on the "wrong end of the law" no matter how small the infraction, and see if you feel the same then...................

May I ask something about Police Officers? On my way to the library in Locust Grove today, a Locust Grove officer pulled out of the new Police Services building in front of me, and not only did he/she exceed the speed limit of 45 mph, but never once used a signal when turning. Had I been the one doing these things, I surely would have been pulled over. Don't get me wrong, not all officers are like the ones being accused of wrongdoings in the Atlanta area. Most officers are good people. But when did it become ok for them to break the very laws they are hired to uphold? They are not only constantly in the public eye and should be good influences, but they are being watched by our children, and what kind of message does their breaking their own laws send to these children?

POOLSIDE

i had to come to the library to do some research, since i cannot keep a signal at home for more than 20 minutes, so decided i would relate the story of my yesterday.

my daughter hardly ever calls me, other than on my birthday and mother's day, and occasionally other holidays.  i usually work on mondays, but for some reason, i was not scheduled to work yesterday.  i was about to get out of the house and just "do" stuff that didn't cost me anything, like riding around some of the countryside nearby and taking pictures (see, greg, you have rubbed off on me).  just as i was about to step out the door, my cell rang.  no one ever calls me unless it is work wanting to know if i can come in, so i grabbed it, thinking i might get an extra day in this week.  nope.......it was my daughter.  she said she was bored, and wanted to know what i was doing the rest of the afternoon.  i told her i was actually doing nothing, but was bored as well.  she told me she was out by the pool at her apartment complex, and wanted me to come over and share the afternoon with her.  so, i jumped in the shower, shaved the small forest off my legs, and grabbed my stuff and ran over there.

there were only 2 other people there when i got there, a mom and her child, as well as my own daughter.  the pool was crystal clear and smelled like a pool.......i love that smell, second only to the smell of the ocean.

my daughter told me the water was cold, which disappointed me since i love to swim, even though i look like a small whale when i do swim.  i lay out by the pool with her for awhile and was really enjoying soaking up rays, especially since i can't access any sun from my house, other than in the front yard, and there is a church across the street from me, and i don't think it is appropriate for me to sun bathe in front of the church.

soon, it got a little warm (it is close to 85 today, and was near that yesterday), so we both got into the water.  it WAS cold.  after toying with the idea for some time, i decided to get out.  then my daughter's boyfriend came by and we all sat under the umbrella and talked.  the two of them were fighting like they were married.........it was funny.

while they were talking, i decided to get back into the pool.  i walked in slowly, then just sucked in my breath and dove in.  WOWOWOWOW!!!!!!!!!!  it was COLD!!  but after the initial shock, and after i got my breath back, i swam around the pool several times.  it was so relaxing and refreshing.  i had gotten so wrapped up in my mostly miserable life, i had forgotten what just being free and having fun was all about.  it was something i really needed.

later in the day my daughter's roomie and the roomie's little girl came home, and came up to the pool.  we were all laying out in the sun and suddenly i felt a spray of cold water on my other side.  i turned to look and there was an elderly gentleman settling down in the lawn chair next to mine.  there were about 20 other chairs in the pool area that were not being used, but he came over there to where we were and lay down on the one right up next to me.  i wasn't sure what to think at first.  he looked to be about 70, tanned, bald, and had a severely broken toe, which had mended incorrectly and looked really strange.  i spoke, he spoke, and that was it.

i later got up and sat in the chair under the umbrella with my daughter, and the older gentleman was trying to get up and asked if he could support himself on the back of my chair.  i told him he was welcome to.  he grunted and walked slowly home.

my daughter says he is always up at the pool, and obviously has no family living with him, and seems very lonely.  i told her i hope he wasn't flirting with me, lol.  she said he was just a really sweet older man.

the day went really well, and gave me a new outlook on life.  the circumstances i related in my last entry haven't gone away, but things look a little better now that i am looking through sunburned eyes, lol.

oh, and a lady has asked me to help her decorate candles she makes with beads and pearls, etc. for the festival that is coming in the middle of may.  hopefully that will give me some more moolah to pay bills with.

thanks to everyone out there that has ridden this roller coaster of life with me.  though i feel better about things, i still may not be here as often to write.  so hang in there, and when your knot slips, pull yourself up, tie it tighter, and HANG ON BABY!